The 3 Most Powerful Words in Youth Ministry

"I like you!"
What if these were the 3 most powerful words in Youth Ministry?

Student ministers use the word "love" a lot-maybe too much.
"I would love to have lunch with you guys."
"I would love if you joined us at our church."
"I really loved the sermon today."
"I really love hanging out with students."
"I really loved that conference."
"I love this scripture, praise song, camp, mission site, preacher, blog...etc."

Oh, and there are given love statements students expect to hear from student ministers.
"God loves you."
"Christ loves you so much he died."
"The Spirit loves and lives inside of you."

Don't misunderstand.  These are all fine and appropriate things to say.  But what if students need to hear something else from you?  What if they need to hear words that would help them clearly understand and believe the love statements you are desperately trying to communicate?

Perhaps a disconnect comes from students wondering if you like them?
I would say, for the most part, student's know you love them (that's why you drive vans with stinky teenagers in the heat of summer and plan lock-ins).  But do your students know you like them?
Do you hang around with the same students, families, activities?
Do you talk about the same type of activities in your lesson illustrations?
Do you pass certain students to talk with others on a constant basis?
Do you have inside jokes with a limited number of students?
If you answered yes to a few of these questions, you may be communicating an "I don't like you" message.

Teenagers experience moments in which they doubt anyone likes them or that they possess a talent or ability that is likeable.  They go through stage(s) in their life in which they feel invisible or at best common among peers.  These are difficult times in which student's battle with tough developmental questions:
"Who am I?"
"Do my choices matter?"
"Where do I belong?"
These moments certainly call for a flood of love statements from caring adults and youth workers.  But, in my opinion, these moments call for an even greater flood of like statements to validate the worthiness the feel to receive words of loving guidance into their core. 

Let me give you an example (this example has been changed for confidentiality).
Years ago I had a young lady in my youth group that was difficult to like.  She had a disability that made her irritable, argumentative and pretty much unable to work with others (imagine how complicated work projects could be if you were on this person's work crew).  On top of all this, she came from a rough home situation and was often unkempt in appearance.  She heard many love statements from our youth ministry team which seemed to fall on deaf ears.  Why? She did not believe anyone liked or could like her.  However, a group of students decided to "include" this young lady into their group (I know...a clear breach of teen world protocol) and caring adults began to point out unique things to like about this young lady. This changed everything. In short order, the like statements made it possible for the love statements to sink deep into her core. 

I am certain we all have students that need a flood of like statements.  There are many things youth ministers and adults can do to begin a like flood, but here are a few suggestions:

• Spend time talking with the "unlikeable" in the presence of more "likeable" students.  There is great significance and like shown when passing the students that get all the attention from adults for students that stand apart from the group or look for a place to hide in the crowd.
• Go to all types of events to support your students.  As a youth ministry professional or volunteer, you will naturally feel more comfortable around certain groups of students (athletic, artistic, creative, alternative, etc).  Fight the urge to support one group over another.  Yes, this is difficult, but  a loud "I am likeable" message is communicated to students when you show up at games, concerts, performances, competitions or house.  Please don't be that, "I only relate to athletic (insert other comfortable) students" type of youth minister.  
• Communicate like messages to students.  Old school works best here.  Send an email, text or write a note and put it in the snail mail highlighting something you have seen that is unique, praiseworthy and likeable about a given student (I recommend you stay away from tweets-those can backfire and become a self-esteem competition) . Students cherish such communication.
• Share the praise from the stage.  It is easy to call to the stage as an example and/or volunteer the likeable students.  Why not share the stage with those who never or hardly ever share the spotlight? You will be communicating a strong like message. CAUTION:  Some students do not like the stage.  Do not embarrass a student-that message would change into an unlike message quickly.

Enjoy practicing the 3 most important words in youth ministry, "I LIKE YOU!"

Read this Church: A Sticky Faith Testimony

There is actually a joke that often circulates around my office and other church staff meetings. It is more of a comment concerning the number of times the word "Intergenerational" comes up when I am involved in ministry conversations.  To be honest, I love that the word has become a part of our church's vocabulary and love every time the word is used in any context.

David, "Why do you love being annoying?" (annoying may be a bad word, let's say persistent)

Because focusing on Intergenerational relationships in Youth Ministry create a wonderful tapestry of support structures that help students embrace and mature in their faith.

I want you to read the blog post from one of our recent 24:7 Student Ministry graduates.  I do not share this to "brag" about our church and ministry programs (I could brag about the greatest group of adult volunteers in the world).  I also do not share this to highlight one student above another (all of our students are wonderful).  I share this as a testimony of the impact a church with an Intergenerational focus can have on a young person's life.   By the way, I asked permission to use his post but you may want to make this young man's blog a regular read. Here is the link jaredking24.wordpress.com

__________

Thank You

This blog really has a dual purpose. First and foremost, I’d like to thank everyone who has been involved with The Hills Church of Christ 24:7 Student Ministry, to any degree, for changing and shaping my life. The second purpose is to brag on what an amazing student ministry 24:7 has been, and will continue to be in the future. But first, a disclaimer..
*In no way, shape, or form does my declaration of immense gratitude to all 24:7 related parties signify  the end of my contact with said parties, or the participation in said ministry. I plan on staying active in the lives of those at The Hills, and will be as involved as humanly possible while living three hours away. You can’t get rid of me that easily.*
Now before the tears start flowing, thank you…
The Hills Elders and Senior Staff: Thank you for being possibly the most loving and caring church leaders on the planet. While The Hills is the only church I’ve attended regularly for the last 13 years, I’m well aware that many church leaders do not look upon the youth of their congregation with the same fondness and respect I have seen from you. I love that you have thrown out the old saying that “children are the church of tomorrow” and have actively sought to make us a part of the church today. I can’t imagine other churches having most of the senior staff speak for the youth group on an annual basis like Rick Atchley, Cary Branscum, Mike Washburn, Charley Taylor, and many others have now done the past few years. Even more incredible is the way you have attempted to integrate teens into the church wide ministry boards whether it be Men’s ministry, Women’s ministry, or Missions. Saying that we are the church of today is one thing, but asking us to take responsibility for what is going on in the church is another level of confidence that means the world to me and many others who want to feel like an important part of the church. Thank you to the elders who constantly prayed over us before retreats, camps, mission trips. The words of blessing sometimes spoken at 7am or earlier on a Saturday morning mean more than I can fully appreciate. Thank you for the way you treat the youth staff. From watching and hearing stories of how my dad was treated by elders and senior staff as a youth minister, I should have no desire to become one. But because of the love and respect I have seen you give Dave, Jason, Darin, Melanie, and Nicole, I have hope for my future church to want show Christ to all they meet, regardless of age.
The 24:7 Youth Staff: Thank you for literally changing the course of my life. I have no idea where I would be going and what I would be doing with my life if it wasn’t for your love and example. It was 8th grade when I first decided I wanted to become a youth minister. At that point it was just cause I loved worship and liked the idea of going to camps and retreats and getting paid for it. But over the last four years, especially this past year, you have taught me what being a youth minister really means. It is so much more than anyone on the outside could ever imagine. You have let me in on the heart of 24:7. You’ve shown me hearts aren’t always pretty; tensions flare, stresses rise, patiences are tested, and heartaches happen. But the joy I’ve seen radiate through you in spite of all you have seen is what is truly inspiring. Thank you Darin and Melanie for getting me hooked on 24:7. Until E-camp my 6th grade year I wanted nothing to do with 24:7 and the OKC and Little Rock mission trips made me realize the joys of serving others. Thank you Jeff and Jason Allen for being a light in my life from another campus. I thoroughly enjoyed the time I spent with each of you on trips. Southlake and WFW are in excellent hands with the two of you at the helm. God is doing amazing things through you. Thank you Nicole for the impact you made on so many teens lives while you were here. I learned a lot from hearing stories of you counseling students and watching you work in the lives of many of my friends on incredibly intimate levels. Nashville is ridiculously blessed to have you changing lives there. You and Melanie have been shining examples that women are needed in youth ministry. Thank you John for all the things that you have done with the band and your creative inputs throughout the ministry. Also thanks for helping me realize I could sing. Leading worship with you is one of my absolute favorite experiences in 24:7. Thank you to Jason and Dave for putting so much into my life to help me grow foremost as a man of God, but also as a future youth minister. The experiences you have given me I wouldn’t trade for anything. Whether it was letting me on staff at e-camp, taking me on speaking engagements, letting me teach lessons, or just talking with me about life, you have shaped the way I look at life and at ministry specifically. If I could be half the men you are, I would be perfectly content with my character and my ability to minister. Thank you to all the staff on each campus for being an example of Christ to so many teens over the years and for years to come.

The Adult Volunteers: Thank you for being what likely separates 24:7 the most from other student ministries. I have never seen such a large group of adults care so deeply about kids that were not their own. However, many of you have treated me like one of your own and because of that I am truly blessed. D-groups have shown me what it means for the body of Christ to raise children. The love that I have felt from The Wards, Halls, Peschells, Jones, and all the other parents of my class involved has kept me on the path for years now. I love knowing that just because I’m farther away the relationships don’t end and you will continue to make sure I’m on the path. Thank you to the Herrera’s. Brian and Angela, you have been actual family to me and I often forget we aren’t actually related. It feels like I have known you forever but its really been less than three years. But in that time you have opened up your home and opened up your lives for me and so many others. Your transparency is inspiring and your willingness to give advice and encouragement is wonderful. I don’t know what I would do without your family. Thank you to all the volunteers who have simply talked with me and encouraged me throughout my 24:7 experience. Without you 24:7 would not be the safe place it has been for countless teens who desperately needed caring and Godly adults in their lives.
The Students: Thank you. I am honestly at a loss on how to display the affection I have for all of you. I have been blessed by so many who have come and graduated before me but blessed my life and gave their friendship to me. I have so many dear friends in classes behind me who consider me a role model but I learn more from them than they possibly could from me. Awesome things are going to happen through 24:7 because of those of you who will be leading in the years to come. Thank you most of all to my fellow graduates. We did it. We made it through the hell that was middle school and thrived in the joys and pains of high school because of the bond we have with each other through Christ. I have no doubt that I have been a part of the greatest class to have ever gone through 24:7. The things that you all will do with your lives for the Kingdom are limitless. I don’t know what to say other than each one of you has my undying love and regardless of us going separate ways, we are still the body of Christ. In times of joy, we will be there. In times of pain, we will be there. In times of normality, we will be there. In times of uncertainty, we will be there. When time is no more and Heaven has come to earth, we will be there.


“I will give them a heart to know me, that I am the LORD. They will be my people, and I will be their God, for they will return to me with all their heart.” -Jeremiah 24:7

__________

As I look at the picture Jared shared above (Senior Class 2014), I am certain many, if not all, of these students could share stories of a church and adults who have impacted their spiritual journey in "Sticky Faith" manner.

Senior Pastors, Executive Ministers, Student Ministers, Adult Volunteers, Parents...it takes effort, causes frustration and there are mistakes that can be made when in attempting to keep an Intergenerational focus in programming (I know, we make a lot).  Still, the results are worth the cost!

The Tale of Two Stories

I am a news, talk and stories of interest watching junky (yes, ESPN falls into the category).

While tempted to join the hundreds offering commentary and opinion on the widely covered and painful school tragedy in Pennsylvania, I simply offer a heart broken prayer and wait to visit this topic when further information is made available.   It has been my experience that many will offer simplistic, passionate (right or left wing) explanations to a complex and pain filled issue.  Again, I would call all of us to pray for everyone involved in this terrible situation.

There are two news stories that really caught my attention this week.  I share these with you with little dialogue and corresponding questions for a reason.  One, the videos are easy to contrast and draw meaning.  And two, I really think it would be great if you share the stories and questions with your family, friends, coworkers or students for discussions.  Now, before I share the videos, a setting of the stage (just because) with the classic work of Charles Dickens.

The two stories I will share, in prophetic fashion, bring the words of Dickens, Tale of Two Cities to life:

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way...

Let's start with the worst of times story from a Today Show segment (Be patient with the link. It starts with a commercial and has a rather long pause before the actual story appears).

Lying

• Why would I qualify this as a worst of times story?
• How does this story relate to these words from Jesus?  “You have heard that it was said to our people long ago, ‘Don’t break your promises, but keep the promises you make to the Lord.’ But I tell you, never swear an oath. Don’t swear an oath using the name of heaven, because heaven is God’s throne. Don’t swear an oath using the name of the earth, because the earth belongs to God. Don’t swear an oath using the name of Jerusalem, because that is the city of the great King. Don’t even swear by your own head, because you cannot make one hair on your head become white or black. Say only yes if you mean yes, and no if you mean no. If you say more than yes or no, it is from the Evil One." --Matthew 5:33ff
• How can a Christian fulfill the words of Jesus and successfully navigate today's competitive world?  (if you say only do business with "Christian businesses" listed in a "Christian Business Publication" you are disqualified from answering because you are avoiding the question--not really-- really) 
• If this is the way  "adults" are living and teaching ethics (blurred lines), how do we hope to teach and hold accountable our children to moral standards? 

And now a best of times story from ESPN (Kleenex may be needed).

Lacey Holsworth

• Why would I qualify this as a best of times story?
• How does this story illustrate the reality of these words from Jesus? Some people brought even their babies to Jesus so he could touch them. When the followers saw this, they told them to stop. But Jesus called for the children, saying, “Let the little children come to me. Don’t stop them, because the kingdom of God belongs to people who are like these children. I tell you the truth, you must accept the kingdom of God as if you were a child, or you will never enter it.”--Luke 18:15ff
• What does the relationship between Lacey and Adreian say about the importance, power and impact of intergenerational relationships?
• (Extra credit question for church leaders) What does this story have to say about the need and importance of intergenerational worship opportunities? 

Choose to live a best of times story.

I Love My Senior Pastor--Really!

I love working with my Senior Pastor.

I have had my share of challenging experiences in ministry.  But the one challenge I have not experienced is having to deal with a difficult Senior Minister or Pastor.  I have experience working with plenty of challenging elders, deacons, ministers, parents and adults but never a difficult relationship with a Senior Minister or Pastor--really!

My current senior pastor is Rick Atchley and he is a Magic Man. 

His magic is not the kind that pulls rabbits from hats or saws people in half (he may want to try that last trick with some of us he works with) and he certainly does not dabble in dark arts (even though his golf buddies may think differently).  My Pastor has a gift to communicate the Word of God with clarity and purpose on a remarkably consistent basis.  But, in my opinion, the magic is found in his ability to connect in ministry across generational lines.  Young and old are drawn to his teachings and blessed by his frequent visits to their "spaces".  Let me put it this way, senior pastors are suppose to hang out in adult classes, lobby's, foyers and pot luck type settings.  They are not known for hanging out in youth areas and student classrooms.  Get this, Rick not only hangs out in youth spaces but is listed as a student ministry volunteer!

"Wait a minute--volunteer," you ask?

"Yes--volunteer!"

Rick and his wife Jamie have served as small group leaders, mission trip sponsors and mentor's for a countless number of students and adult volunteers in our youth ministry.  He reminds the youth ministry staff, at least twice a year, that he would "really like to speak" to the students if we gave him the opportunity.  Crazy--I know! The Senior Pastor is asking a Youth Minister for a speaking opportunity!

Rick Atchley is that kind of man and has that kind of respect for youth ministry.  I like to say to him, "Rick, you are a big deal in the youth ministry world!" Even though he down plays my words, it's a reality.  Those who know and witness his support of youth ministry think he's a rock star. He wants  each child and student in our church family to see themselves as fully functioning members of his flock.

So, when Rick speaks, our student's listen and are blessed.

Let me interrupt this post with an important side bar:  Our students hear from our adults, ministers and members, frequently!  It is one of the simplest ways to create intergenerational community opportunities. Oh, they don't come to "preach" but to "share" their faith journey.  Any preaching arises naturally from the power of their own story of faith.  Now, back to our regularly scheduled post.

Recently,  in our very diverse Wednesday night High School Worship, we had Ask Preacher Rick Night  and the magic happened. 

With the use of personal stories of failure and success, Pastor Rick clearly communicated the point that The Fear of Man is defeated by a deep and abiding Love of God.  The truth is simple and has been taught on many occasions.

Why was this night different?

Here's the answer.  It was clear in word and action. Rick wanted to spend time with our students.  On this night, this was his flock of students.  For this hour, they were his first and only thought. And the students knew it--magic.

So...I love working with my Senior Pastor.

Here are a couple of practical things you can do with this blog:

• Get your Senior Pastor to read it so they can get an idea of how they can effectively interact with the youth ministry (you may need to be sneaky and simply "share the link" on facebook or something--be smart)  (Note: if you are a senior pastor reading this blog because someone shared a link with you...um...they must really like you and want to share you with the students)
• Share this blog with other parents, adults and youth ministers so they can get an idea of how to get their senior pastor into their youth ministry "space."
• If you are a student that rarely sees their Senior Pastor or Minister, ask them to come to a youth event, teach a class or attend some other youth activity.  I bet if you ask them, they would be more willing to come.

3 Purposes of Youth Ministry

 "You get paid for going on vacation's with teenagers?"

"I wish I could have a job where I could go to the mountains for a week each summer?"

"You do 'that' for a job?"

"When are you going to get your 'own' church?" (Translation:  When are you going to "grow up" or become a "senior" minister?)

With 25 years of Youth Ministry under my belt, I have heard a lot of strange comments from people who do not totally understand what I do.

Let me insert an important note here, I have personally NEVER worked for a church that did not honor, respect and hold in high regard the role of student ministry and ministers (I realize I am very blessed).  Most of the above statements come from those outside my church context and/or individuals I cross path's with at various speaking engagements.

From the outside, it may be difficult at times to see the theological trajectory and pedagogy (I thought it would be fun to use big words) of paint ball, mud volleyball, messy games and amusement park programing of student ministers.  Therefore, I am going to share the three reasons student ministers do what they do for the Church and serve a crucial function in the Kingdom's advance in the world.  The big "three" are not totally original to me or any one person.  My awareness and dedication to them have primarily come through witnessing the interplay of the three in my youth ministry heroes lives and intense theological reflection (for fear of leaving someone out, there are too many heroes to attempt to mention.  Even so, my youth minister, Philip Nichols, modeled the three perfectly and still impacts my life today.  Mike Yaconelli and Chap Clark solidified the theological place of the three in my ministry).  So... senior pastor, minister, church leader, parent, student or church "curmudgeon,"  here are the three.

The purpose of Youth Ministry is to...

...assist families and adults in bringing students into the presence of Jesus Christ. This great commission task  (Which has a secondary focus as well--see below) should dwell in the core of all believers and certainly ministers.  The role of youth ministry is NOT to keep students busy, entertained, happy and out of the way of big church activity. Our role is to serve as missionaries that present the never-changing truth of the gospel in an ever-changing adolescent culture (that is why some of the methods or communication can seem a bit "off the wall" at times).  In many of today's youth ministry contexts, one of the most important jobs of the youth minister is to raise up an army of caring adults to share the gospel because there is not a stable family environment present in a student's life. 

...assist families and adults in educating students for life and eternity.
This is the second "teaching them to observe..." part of the great commission task.  You may have noticed, most youth minister's do not back down from talking or starting a conversation about  uncomfortable topics.  Why?  Because youth ministers, as cultural missionaries, know students are asking, will ask or about to ask difficult questions of faith and life application.  Sticky Faith research has shown that student's who express and explore doubt during their adolescent years have a better chance of "sticking" to the Christian faith after high school graduation (The Fuller Youth Institute has just released a great resource for working though difficult questions with students. Check out Can I Ask That?).  Youth ministry should be proactive and not reactive in educating students and assisting families/adults in educating students (btw: a proactive education program takes intentional theological and need assessment reflection).  It is my belief that it is a sin to bore students (or adults for that matter) when presenting and applying the Word of God.  So, youth ministers will look for creative ways to educate students and families/adults with the facts of and practical application of biblical truths (again, that is why teaching moments are often more than creative lecture and "off the wall").  I acknowledge that much more can, should and is constantly be discussed concerning the how and what of education and youth ministry. The point being made here is that youth minister's have a key roll of assisting in and educating student's for life and eternity.

...assimilate students into the overall community of faith.
For years, even in the most supportive youth ministry environments, the "official" task of youth ministry concluded with the graduation of the student from High School.  However, with churches moving to more of a holistic view of ministry, this third task of youth ministry has risen in importance. In other words, church leaders are beginning to acknowledge the ill effects that silo-ed youth ministry programming is having on our students and church communities. There are  "successful" youth ministries (number of participants being used as the marker) that fulfill the first two purposes of student ministry with excellence and effectiveness.  However, after graduating, what kind of connection do these students have with their overall church community? Some of these students have rarely been in a worship service with other adult believers or even heard a steady dose of preaching from their senior pastor!  My intention is not to throw rocks but shed light on the importance of this third purpose for youth ministry. It is my opinion that senior pastors, ministers and leaders have to constantly ask longitudinal and assimilating questions of their ministers and ministries.  Such questioning leads to systemic change in the silo-ed ministry programming mentality and replaces it with a holistic programming model in which all ministries work together in the spiritual formation of students (youth ministry "assists"is a word used in the discussion of the first two purposes of student ministry.  This word is intentional and highlights the responsibility shared by the entire community of faith).  While youth ministers, with humility, can suggest the process, Senior pastors, ministers and leaders, ministers  need to be the  originators of the longitudinal and assimilating questioning of ministries.  Why?  Without senior leadership level buy in, the third purpose of student ministry is very difficult if not impossible to accomplish. 
 
Certainly, youth minister's will continue to hear "you do 'that' for a job?" type of statements.
Even so, now you know the simple, high calling of Youth Ministers.

Sorry I have to run.

I have to go camping with a bunch of 8th graders (no, it is not vacation).

Yes, I love Butterfly Kisses!

My daughter has been excited about the Butterfly Kisses Daddy Daughter Dance since she received the flyer in the mail.  Actually, we missed the dance last year, my daughter was not going to let me miss this year's extravaganza. 
Extravaganza?  Yes!  Led by one of our creative Hills' Children's Ministry leaders, Susan Conway from our South Lake campus, it was a night of arts and crafts, dessert buffet, dinner, dancing, pictures and carriage rides--everything a little girl dreams about happened at this event--extravaganza! My daughter and I had a magical and memorable time together.

 

With the door bell rang, the flowers given, this picture taken and the door to the car open--we began our daddy daughter date night.  As I said, extravaganza! We had a blast completing arts and crafts, eating a fabulous meal, dancing to all types of music (yes, Bieber Fever raised its ugly head on the dance floor) and taking three rounds on the horse drawn carriage.  All of this was memorable but what followed transformed the night into a powerful moment of blessing and transition.

Towards the end of the night Chris John, one of our outstanding church leaders, called all dads and daughters into a circle in which each was facing the other. With permission, here are the words Chris shared (be warned, they are Kleenex worthy and powerful): 

Tonight is a very special night.  It’s a night that you will treasure forever.  This is a night for the Daddies to honor their daughters.  This is a night that is the beginning for some and the end for others.   We want you to see your daughter for the princess she is-not a princess of worldly things but a princess because her father is the King Of Kings.  Yes, all you men are pretty important but our heavenly Father is our King of Kings.

I would like all the Fathers to get on a circle with their backs to the middle of the circle.  Have your daughter or daughters stand in front of you facing you.  You may want to kneel on their level or just bend down to them.  I would like all the Fathers to repeat after me.

Father: I promise to always love and honor you

Father: I promise to be the kind of Father you can look up to and be proud of.

Father:  I promise to raise you with God in the center of our family.

Father:  I promise to raise you into a loving Christian Women.

Father: so you will find a Christian Husband who will honor you and God.

Father:  I will always be here for you.  Forever and always.

Father:  I will hold your heart until God is ready for your future husband to hold it

Wow!  Saying these words, while looking into your daughter's eyes, is both an awesome affirmation and challenge for dads.  But wait--it got even better.  Chris then called current 5th grader daughters and their dads into the center of the circle.  You get a sense of what happened next from his notes:

Call the 5^th grade girls and their Dads to the center of the circle and have everyone else face the center as well.

Talk about Jesus and their Dads being the Cornerstone of their lives

Pray over the 5^th graders and the rest of the Daddies and daughter.

Here is a picture of that inner circle.
  

Chris spoke of how the young ladies were about to enter their teenage years, affirmed the change and assured them that their dads and the family of faith would be with them through it all.  Did I say "Wow!"  It was a powerful Rite of Passage moment that no one will be able to forget (which is exactly the goal of such programming).

Shortly after the blessing the dessert bar opened for celebration and then the song played--butterfly kisses. My daughter and I were swaying slowly with the music when she suddenly stopped, motioned for me to bend down,  stood up on her tip toes, and gave me a butterfly kiss--priceless!

Race Day at The Hills: An Intergenerational Win!

Our Preacher ran a marathon this year!  Yep...26.2 miles of pain and accomplishment.  There are a couple of positives that have come out of this experience.

• I have received a shirt from our preacher's "I am now smaller than you and my XL shirts no longer fit me collection" (to be clear, he was not calling me fat--I think) And...
• Our preacher started a new series on the Christian life, The Race, that involves video footage of his marathon, stories of training and competition and lessons learned from his running experience.

To kick off the new series, our students were asked to partner with our church's adult greeter and assembly planning teams to create a race like, high-energy welcoming environment for each weekend worship participant.  So, our students (dressed in running gear) held signs of encouragement, gave out water bottles and race tags, and welcomed all who walked through the doors of our church with the enthusiasm only a teenager, and a few crazy adult volunteers (notice the shaved head--student volunteer--go figure) could muster.   IT WAS AMAZING!  Check out these cool pics from the event!

This last picture is my favorite and captures the excitement of the day's Race Experience (BTW:  No senior adult was hurt in the greeting experience project).  Students and adults working on a project together--priceless!

Our preacher's kickoff lesson for The Race series was excellent!  Not to steal his thunder, but as we process the impact this series will have on our church family, one of the most memorable highlights will be the day the students welcomed the church to worship. 

Question:  What simple collaborations have led to big intergenerational wins in your church context?

Pass the Kleenex!

As a student minister, a consistent base hit is a great result for programming.  However, every once in a while, an event connects in a big way--today was a Home run Student Ministry Day!  For the past few years our student ministry has hosted a 6th Grade and 9th Grade blessing time.  The event features each student inviting their parents, grandparents or guardians and five adults whom they feel are significant participants in their physical, emotional and spiritual development to a time of blessing led by our church shepherds and student ministry staff. This year, the blessing was personal--Braeden, my son, was participating.

Okay, I will say it, I am a tear factory at these types of events.  Even so, I did not expect to shed the first tear--wishful thinking--the water works began with the first few words out of my mouth.  My son said later that he knew I would cry but did not think I would be the first.  By the way men, he thought it was cool that I was so touched by the moment that I got a little emotional ( I will confess it was sort of a "losing of the man card moment" when my mom, usually the first to cry at such events, passed me a Kleenex).

The program was simple:

• Darin Hollingsworth, our lead middle school student minister, welcomed the participants and explained the importance of adult presence in a student's life and the student ministry.
• Dale Brooks, one of our outstanding Hill's Church shepherds, spoke of the church's love for each student and family and their support of the student ministry itself and ended by giving blessing to students and the student's Parents/Guardians/Adults
• Darin directed a time of blessing in which each student listened to their parents, grandparents, guardians and invited guests speak words of affirmation, praise, encouragement and future hope. 
• The event ended with Delton Garnett, another outstanding Hill's shepherd, praying over the students and families as each student was being touched by the loving and supportive hands of another group of wonderful church shepherd (thanks, Curt Parsons and John Wallace--awesome!).

"Boom!"  the event was out of the park.
No bells and whistles, videos, drama, or contemplative worship set employed for this event.
Adults spoke loving words of blessing over each middle school student--simple, powerful and memorable!
I asked Dale Brooks to send the words he shared with the students and adults (get the printer ready, you will probably want to put them on your refrigerator or bathroom mirror):

To the parents and mentors:

May the Father fill you with His Spirit and empower you to live a trustworthy life, may you grow in your prayer life with Him, may He grant you discernment and insight to really hear and understand as you listen and observe, courage to verbally affirm and lovingly correct, patience to submit to His timing, compassion to empathize, the heart to forgive, but above all greater love. God bless you.

To the 6^th grade students:

May you more fully know the love of Jesus and make Him Lord of your life every day, may your prayer life grow, may you be strong and brave to make right and wise choices, may you have help from family and friends who love Jesus, may you have courage to ask questions and welcome their help when needed, and may you understand that God has special and good purposes for your life to be lived out even now.  God bless you.

Tonight, at my son's 6th grade small group, the energy was up and the adults still buzzing from the morning's blessing experience.  It was a good day at the Hills and I haven't even mentioned RACE DAY--maybe tomorrow!


QUESTION:  Why do you believe such a simple event created such a wonderful and powerful experience for both student and adult?

Intergenerational Tattoo

Study this photo carefully.

 This is my son being tattooed (No it was not permanent--had to say that for the tattoo haters) by two of my friends, Jason Herman (HS Student Minister) and Scott Beck (Friend, Volunteer and Fishing Buddy)--yes, their tattoos are real.  This happened at our Men's Retreat and was sent in response to my wife's photo of "Girl's Night" with my daughter.

 Braeden has still not washed his back.  I know, a lack of bathing is nothing out of the ordinary for a middle School student, but this is different--this is an intergenerational tattoo.  

I am not suggesting a tattoo student ministry program, even though I know of a few, I am suggesting intentional memory making opportunities between older and younger believers.  My son had that experience last weekend and he will NEVER forget the time he was a part of something cool with the "big league" members of our church.  I promise, this experience will further deepen the trust my son feels towards these two adults which will come in handy when he needs the voice of another male influence in his spiritual walk.  So, long after the temporary, imprint has faded from my son's skin,our excursion into intergenerational tattoo ministry has left a lasting imprint on my son's heart.

I received two bits of advice, from my tattoo wearing co-worker, that you need to consider before getting a tattoo. And...these two bits actually work as great reminders to all adults wishing to leave a positive impact with their own and other students. One, it is crucial that you choose the right tattoo artist!  Even the greatest of designs can be messed up in the hands of the wrong artist.  The point is powerfully obvious!  I love the way The Message translates the highlighted phrase from Deuteronomy 6:

Attention, Israel!

God, our God! God the one and only!

Love God, your God, with your whole heart: love him with all that's in you, love him with all you've got!

Write these commandments that I've given you today on your hearts. Get them inside of you and then get them inside your children.

Adults, we have to be sure we are committed to being the best artist possible for the student(s) we are impacting (inking) with our influence. In other words, practice what you preach--student's are watching you! And two, remember that ink is permanent! You can fix a bad tattoo, but you can't simply forget it happened. As adults, we often believe, or want to believe, that students do not want us around or care about our opinions of them and their world.  We are wrong!  They are being impacted by the way we love our spouse, speak about authority, devotion or lack there of in spiritual practices...you get the picture.  Be careful--you are carrying permanent ink.

QUESTION:  Stretching the Tattoo Metaphor beyond the limit, what "tattoo moments" do you best remember from your own childhood?  P.S.  These comments will produce a number of practical applications--share away!