Why a Zippo Lighter Made Me Cry

Before I reached the office this morning, I received a phone call that Cary Branscum had already visited my office and was looking for me.  Let me tell you about Cary.

Cary is one of my ministry mentors and heroes.  He is currently serving as The Small Groups and Singles Minister at the Hills Church.  He is a veteran of various ministries and a wealth of wisdom and encouragement for all who are blessed to know him.   Besides being one of the most creative people I have ever worked with, he is also one of the most selfless and loyal workers in the Kingdom (this endorsement covers over 25 years of ministry-Cary is the real deal).  There is much more I could say about Cary. He has been and continues to be someone who goes out of their way to believe in and encourage my life and ministry.  So, at least once a month, I head over to his office, sit down in his "comfy chair"(it really is a marvel of furniture engineering) and spend a few encouraging minutes with the great Cary Branscum.

Back to this morning.

When I arrived at my office, I immediately began walking towards Cary's office to see what he needed.  As I was fast approaching his office, Cary rounded the corner and said, "I know this will sound odd, but I need you to follow me to the Men's Restroom." Odd and AWKWARD for sure! However, since Cary was asking, I agreed to follow him without objection (no, I have never taken candy from a stranger).

As we entered the bathroom, he walked to the sink counter and began opening a Zippo lighter package.  He explained all of the reliable features of the lighter as he demonstrated how to fill the lighter with fluid.  After, with one hand and much swagger, he brought forth a flame from the Zippo and snapped it shut, he handed it to me. I was humbled, stunned, a little speechless, incredibly blessed and teary-eyed.

Why did the gift of a Zippo bring such emotion?

To answer that, let's go back to yesterday (insert your favorite time travel noise).

I was waiting to visit a minister that offices next door to Cary.  As I waited, the "comfy chair" called my name, I plopped down and we started one of our life, ministry and "such" discussions.  During the talk, I noticed that Cary had a Zippo on his desk.  Since he has never been a smoker, I had to ask why he had a lighter. Cary explained how the lighter was something he had carried for a while as a reliable ministry tool (such as when a candle goes out in a wedding) but also had a deeper meaning.  The smell of the Zippo reminded him of people, some long gone, who had made a deep impact on his life.

I agreed.

That statement started another conversation about people, many of them smokers at one time, like my dad, who not only blessed our lives but served our country as well (that is where many of them picked up the smoking habit).  So, for Cary, the smell of a Zippo is a reminder of dependability loyalty, dedication and faithfulness.

Let's go forward to today (insert that favorite time travel noise again).

Cary's gift of a Zippo was not only an incredible act of thoughtfulness, it was a reminder to live a life in which dependable, loyalty, dedication and faithfulness are words spoken of me when my day's are past.   

Yes, I love Butterfly Kisses!

My daughter has been excited about the Butterfly Kisses Daddy Daughter Dance since she received the flyer in the mail.  Actually, we missed the dance last year, my daughter was not going to let me miss this year's extravaganza. 
Extravaganza?  Yes!  Led by one of our creative Hills' Children's Ministry leaders, Susan Conway from our South Lake campus, it was a night of arts and crafts, dessert buffet, dinner, dancing, pictures and carriage rides--everything a little girl dreams about happened at this event--extravaganza! My daughter and I had a magical and memorable time together.

 

With the door bell rang, the flowers given, this picture taken and the door to the car open--we began our daddy daughter date night.  As I said, extravaganza! We had a blast completing arts and crafts, eating a fabulous meal, dancing to all types of music (yes, Bieber Fever raised its ugly head on the dance floor) and taking three rounds on the horse drawn carriage.  All of this was memorable but what followed transformed the night into a powerful moment of blessing and transition.

Towards the end of the night Chris John, one of our outstanding church leaders, called all dads and daughters into a circle in which each was facing the other. With permission, here are the words Chris shared (be warned, they are Kleenex worthy and powerful): 

Tonight is a very special night.  It’s a night that you will treasure forever.  This is a night for the Daddies to honor their daughters.  This is a night that is the beginning for some and the end for others.   We want you to see your daughter for the princess she is-not a princess of worldly things but a princess because her father is the King Of Kings.  Yes, all you men are pretty important but our heavenly Father is our King of Kings.

I would like all the Fathers to get on a circle with their backs to the middle of the circle.  Have your daughter or daughters stand in front of you facing you.  You may want to kneel on their level or just bend down to them.  I would like all the Fathers to repeat after me.

Father: I promise to always love and honor you

Father: I promise to be the kind of Father you can look up to and be proud of.

Father:  I promise to raise you with God in the center of our family.

Father:  I promise to raise you into a loving Christian Women.

Father: so you will find a Christian Husband who will honor you and God.

Father:  I will always be here for you.  Forever and always.

Father:  I will hold your heart until God is ready for your future husband to hold it

Wow!  Saying these words, while looking into your daughter's eyes, is both an awesome affirmation and challenge for dads.  But wait--it got even better.  Chris then called current 5th grader daughters and their dads into the center of the circle.  You get a sense of what happened next from his notes:

Call the 5^th grade girls and their Dads to the center of the circle and have everyone else face the center as well.

Talk about Jesus and their Dads being the Cornerstone of their lives

Pray over the 5^th graders and the rest of the Daddies and daughter.

Here is a picture of that inner circle.
  

Chris spoke of how the young ladies were about to enter their teenage years, affirmed the change and assured them that their dads and the family of faith would be with them through it all.  Did I say "Wow!"  It was a powerful Rite of Passage moment that no one will be able to forget (which is exactly the goal of such programming).

Shortly after the blessing the dessert bar opened for celebration and then the song played--butterfly kisses. My daughter and I were swaying slowly with the music when she suddenly stopped, motioned for me to bend down,  stood up on her tip toes, and gave me a butterfly kiss--priceless!

Pass the Kleenex!

As a student minister, a consistent base hit is a great result for programming.  However, every once in a while, an event connects in a big way--today was a Home run Student Ministry Day!  For the past few years our student ministry has hosted a 6th Grade and 9th Grade blessing time.  The event features each student inviting their parents, grandparents or guardians and five adults whom they feel are significant participants in their physical, emotional and spiritual development to a time of blessing led by our church shepherds and student ministry staff. This year, the blessing was personal--Braeden, my son, was participating.

Okay, I will say it, I am a tear factory at these types of events.  Even so, I did not expect to shed the first tear--wishful thinking--the water works began with the first few words out of my mouth.  My son said later that he knew I would cry but did not think I would be the first.  By the way men, he thought it was cool that I was so touched by the moment that I got a little emotional ( I will confess it was sort of a "losing of the man card moment" when my mom, usually the first to cry at such events, passed me a Kleenex).

The program was simple:

• Darin Hollingsworth, our lead middle school student minister, welcomed the participants and explained the importance of adult presence in a student's life and the student ministry.
• Dale Brooks, one of our outstanding Hill's Church shepherds, spoke of the church's love for each student and family and their support of the student ministry itself and ended by giving blessing to students and the student's Parents/Guardians/Adults
• Darin directed a time of blessing in which each student listened to their parents, grandparents, guardians and invited guests speak words of affirmation, praise, encouragement and future hope. 
• The event ended with Delton Garnett, another outstanding Hill's shepherd, praying over the students and families as each student was being touched by the loving and supportive hands of another group of wonderful church shepherd (thanks, Curt Parsons and John Wallace--awesome!).

"Boom!"  the event was out of the park.
No bells and whistles, videos, drama, or contemplative worship set employed for this event.
Adults spoke loving words of blessing over each middle school student--simple, powerful and memorable!
I asked Dale Brooks to send the words he shared with the students and adults (get the printer ready, you will probably want to put them on your refrigerator or bathroom mirror):

To the parents and mentors:

May the Father fill you with His Spirit and empower you to live a trustworthy life, may you grow in your prayer life with Him, may He grant you discernment and insight to really hear and understand as you listen and observe, courage to verbally affirm and lovingly correct, patience to submit to His timing, compassion to empathize, the heart to forgive, but above all greater love. God bless you.

To the 6^th grade students:

May you more fully know the love of Jesus and make Him Lord of your life every day, may your prayer life grow, may you be strong and brave to make right and wise choices, may you have help from family and friends who love Jesus, may you have courage to ask questions and welcome their help when needed, and may you understand that God has special and good purposes for your life to be lived out even now.  God bless you.

Tonight, at my son's 6th grade small group, the energy was up and the adults still buzzing from the morning's blessing experience.  It was a good day at the Hills and I haven't even mentioned RACE DAY--maybe tomorrow!


QUESTION:  Why do you believe such a simple event created such a wonderful and powerful experience for both student and adult?