tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3549196270896402242024-02-02T03:05:22.700-06:00CatchFrazeObservations on life, culture, religion, ministry and anything else that motivates me to write and believe someone would want to readDavid Frazehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12934662870785750322noreply@blogger.comBlogger79125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-354919627089640224.post-42873055207572927762016-02-12T15:30:00.001-06:002016-02-12T15:30:52.679-06:00Eyes Roll Ears Close: 3 Tips for Lowering A Tense Conversation with a Teenager<div>
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You can feel the tension rise. </div>
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A button was pushed and the tempo and volume of words increase.</div>
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Listening has flown out the window and you are only hearing words that provide opportunity to pounce and launch a another great <i>because I am the adult </i>type lecture.</div>
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As you run through your lecture, the eyes of targeted teenager actually appear to role back into the cavity of the brain and reappear possessed by some demonic, hormonal force shooting a laser through your soul.</div>
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The laser does not silence your barrage of words. It increases the tempo and frequency of your words as you begin to say things you swore you would never repeat from your own echoed past...</div>
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"If you want to live somewhere else, I will pack your bags!"</div>
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"I would have never talked to my parents the way you are talking to me!"</div>
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"I hope you enjoy boxes because you are going to be living in one if you don't get those grades up!"</div>
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Have you ever had this type of conversation with a teenager? With the teenager living in your home?</div>
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<i>Tension</i> and <i>Conflict</i> are often part of the chaotic dance parents and teenagers go through on the journey towards independence and adulthood. When the tension and conflict rises, <b>no one</b> typically wins. Personally, when I am in the middle of (what I think is) a great lecture, I feel validated and empowered as I am giving a <i>certainly</i> magnificent-life changing instruction. After the lecture, when the tempo and volume have settled, I am faced with the truth that all of that magnificent-life changing instruction came across with the effectiveness of Charlie Brown's teacher! Why? <i>When the eyes roll the ears close</i>!</div>
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What do you do when tension is on the rise? <br />
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There are a bunch of breathe deep and go to a happy place relaxation suggestions, but these 3 tips will get the tension lowered quickly and further strengthen your communication skills with teenagers:<br />
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<b>Ask for a time out and</b> <b>Walk Away</b>. This suggestion is for both adult and student. You can develop a special word that signals I am taking a time out and walking away or simply agree to say, "I need to take a break" when the conversation is too heated. The point is, rejoin the conversation when the tempo and volume are settled (this may take a while-don't rush it). Remember, calling a time out does not mean you ignore the conversation. You simply pick the conversation up when the ears are open and the eyes stop rolling. <br />
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<b>Don't Chase</b>. This one is especially true for the adults. Remember what I wrote above about feeling validated and empowered while giving "<i>certainly</i> magnificent-life changing instruction"? Yes, this is my problem. Confession time, this is my biggest problem with my own kids. At times, I do not allow for a time out and walking away. I chase. Not sometime, but<b> all times</b>, this ends badly. It is an eyes roll ears close guarantee move. <br />
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<b>Stop Lecturing</b>. This one is for both, but especially adults. Keep your words short and to the point. this is the first step in keeping the eyes watching and the ears listening. <br />
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David Frazehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12934662870785750322noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-354919627089640224.post-59617589827847029992016-02-04T10:02:00.002-06:002016-02-04T10:02:59.481-06:00The Dirty Secret Church Leaders May Want to Hide<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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What's the <i>Dirty Secret</i>? <br />
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<b>Minister, you are not the most important element in your church member's spiritual formation.</b> As a matter of fact, you are probably not the most important reason people will be in your assembly this weekend.<br />
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Ouch!<br />
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I was visiting with a friend of mine last week and he said, almost apologetically, "Honestly, I get much more out of the group, morning bible study time than the sermon on Sunday morning."<br />
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He nervously talked about the great sermons he is privelaged to hear from his preacher every week, but <i>quickly</i> went back to the value his "group" of friends play in his spiritual formation. Why?<br />
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They <i>know</i> him (good and bad)<br />
They <i>speak</i> into him (blessing and challenge)<br />
They have <i>spent time</i> with him (joy and suffering)<br />
They <i>authentically</i> care (time and...well...um...<i>time</i>)<br />
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Honestly, I was not surprised at my friends' priority. <br />
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It has been my experience, professionally and personally, that the greatest influencer of spiritual growth, positively or negatively, are the relationships we choose to be a part. I have heard a lot of great lessons from the pulpit and currently blessed to hear one of the greatest preachers of my life time every week, Rick Atchley. Still, the effect of key relationships on my spiritual journey trumps all that great teaching. I could drop in a whole lot of research from the <i>Fuller Youth Institute </i>and other great organizations to further support this truth. However, I am <b>certain</b> most minister's know this truth and <u>should</u> use their public platform to not only give life changing information but leverage their position to encourage the type of community my friend was describing in our conversation. <br />
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Why did my friend feel like he was being "offensive" when speaking his heart?<br />
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Why do some minister's act like the greatest spiritual formation takes place when they are on the stage?<br />
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Why do Church leaders want to hide the <i>Secret</i>? Is it:<br />
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Insecurity?<br />
Pride?<br />
Comfort?<br />
Controlable?<br />
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I am certain, because I have experienced each of these, they all play a role. <br />
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In my opinion, the <i>key reason </i>the man was uncomfortable sharing, why minister's struggle to keep their role in the body in prospective and why Church leaders want to hide the <i>Secret is found in the way church leaders measure ministry effectiveness</i>.<br />
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They are important, but church leaders place a lot of significance on numbers and budget. Again, both are strong indicators that a spiritual marker is being achieved. Even so, when a minister feels the pressure to deliver the numbers and budget, he or she can begin to rely too heavily on their own ability to generate such growth that they lose focus on the necessity for members to build relationships with other believers "outside" assembly time(s). <i>Insecurity, pride, comfort</i> and <i>control</i> raise their ugly head in a minister's life leading to burn out and/or disenchantment with the way the institutional-business side of church functions. It makes sense that church leaders question and challenge a minister when the numbers and budget drop. However, the <i>dirty secret</i> highlights the problem may not rest on the quality of the "stage" performance but the quality of relationships within the church body. In other words, numeric and budget growth issues are not always the minister's fault. <br />
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While experiencing the pull to attribute too much credibility to the "stage" of ministry performance, I have been blessed beyond measure in working with leadership groups that strive to look beyond the numbers and budget in determining ministry success. In each case, the leadership had to <i>first come to the realization that the weekend or gathering stage event was important enough to deliver at the highest of quality <b>but did not </b>possess the power to develop long term discipleship formation. </i> I am sure it came from some "small group church" based minister, let's say Andy Stanley (He's a popular minister who understands the <i>dirty secret</i><i>), </i>the simple, yet profound truth that<i> </i>"spiritual growth best occurs in circles not rows." <br />
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Crazy thing, it has been my observation that once a minister embraces the <i>dirty secret</i> of spiritual growth and lowers the importance of their "stage" performance, the Lord actually increases the effectiveness and draw of their "stage" ministry (the least will become greatest, last to first words of Jesus echo in the ears of such leaders). <br />
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Here are a few action steps ministers and other church leaders can take with the knowledge of this <i>Dirty Secret</i> :<br />
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<li><i>Embrace the truth that you or your minister is not the most important element in your church member's spiritual formation</i>. Here is a hard truth we minister's need to remember. More than likely, even though "churched" people may have heard of your ability to preach or teach, the "un-churched" visitor sitting in your assembly is there because <b>someone they knew invited them.</b> Ouch! Your ability to communicate was an added bonus to their visiting your gathering. </li>
<li><i>Find ways to measure ministry effectiveness beyond the easy to identify numbers and budget. </i>Numbers and budget do not necessarily equate with fruit of the spirit growth! My friend is able to measure the effectiveness of his bible study accurately because of time and involvement with these people. When we count numbers and budget in the typical ushers with clipboard fashion we may feel good about the 500 attendees that attend ever weekend. But they are probably not the same people every week! We don't know who is in our assemblies. We need to start looking at growth longitudinally. This is a fancy word for "over time." There are great church management programs that help church leaders track a person from the parking lot to conversion to worship participation to service to giving.... These programs have the ability to track over time and keep the overall number and budget counts in proper context. Even so, the greatest accounting program is people in meaningful relationship! People notice when the people they are living life with are missing. Therefore, the third action step. Before we leave this action step, I believe the greatest way to evaluate ministry effectiveness is through <b>story. </b>Ask for and share stories that illustrate ministry is happening in your church family! Stories inspire and focus ministry. </li>
<li><i>Provide opportunity for relationship building in your church community. </i> Depending on your context determine what best suits your church member's needs for "circle" type relationship building. Leaders have to determine how to provide and support environments where relational safety and vulnerability occurs <b>while also providing </b>relationship building opportunities where those outside the church walls and new members feel welcome and wanted. <u>This is difficult work</u>. Classes, Small Groups, Classes with Small Groups are all options in the appropriate settings for this to happen. A word of caution. Please <b>do not</b> simply copy another church's programming without first examining your own ministry context. This could lead to lots of trouble. </li>
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<br />David Frazehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12934662870785750322noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-354919627089640224.post-64376450463594385522016-01-13T17:53:00.001-06:002016-01-13T21:08:27.302-06:00Lesson Learned at the Dirk vs LeBron Showdown<br />
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Sitting in a loaded stadium watching the Dirk's <i>Dallas Mavs</i> play LeBron's <i>Cleveland Cavs</i>-awesome! Lots of energy and "celebrity" watching<br />
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I have been watching pro sports for a while now and have never made the Big Screen. Well, last night I MADE IT. Well...sort of. Look closely. I am in the grey pull over appearing right above the head of the young man reaching for the camera. The man next to me, their dad and great friend of mine, snapped the picture you see below. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3qfs5CY6mWNrYo2BHeM22H6pseNliPquzpz42Z6N1UT1qcTR3fYWoIYCHH6jhh-dqtZU9o3N3OI3D-xQcnrestvkGZjRS6i4uGFE2NvzFZ2dpupIeOvLy0xsKC4DL1FHnKvBYtpMyMBqp/s1600/12565607_10208709539154935_1154134364809415529_n.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3qfs5CY6mWNrYo2BHeM22H6pseNliPquzpz42Z6N1UT1qcTR3fYWoIYCHH6jhh-dqtZU9o3N3OI3D-xQcnrestvkGZjRS6i4uGFE2NvzFZ2dpupIeOvLy0xsKC4DL1FHnKvBYtpMyMBqp/s400/12565607_10208709539154935_1154134364809415529_n.jpg" width="400" /></a><br />
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As you can see, the seats and camera crew where way up there. Certainly a cool pic and great memory from a great game. The moment came and it was gone. Even though I coaxed the guys to try different things to attract the cameras attention (I could not help myself-I may or may not have challenged them to take their shirts off and wave them), the moment was over. <br />
The event drew my attention towards the Big Screen for the rest of the night as I watched what people would do and how they would do it to get their seconds of fame. Here is what I learned from my people-watching extravaganza.<br />
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<b>People want to be seen. </b>My favorite screen moments where created by people who did not realize they where on screen. The person next to them nudged them into looking up to the screen. Then the magic happened. Smiles, dancing (sometimes innapropriate), kisses, hugging and overall this is my <i>moment</i> behavior. Really, people do crazy things to be <i>seen</i>.<br />
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<b>Seen people bring energy</b>. When the game went into OT (again, great game) the camera caught one young Mav Fan who in turn grabbed the attention of the entire <i>American Airlines Arena</i>. The camera gave him much more than 5 seconds. They used his passion to amp up the entire place. He pumped his hands, beat his chest and begin to yell at the top of his lungs-the crowd responded. The kid who was <i>seen</i> changed the energy of the entire arena. I am certain that this young fan felt directly connected to and impacting a truly great sports moment.<br />
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Zacchaeus.<br />
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Nathanael.<br />
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The "Blind Man."<br />
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The woman "at the Well."<br />
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The woman with "the Issue of Blood."<br />
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The man with "a Legion of Demons."<br />
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Are a short list of people in the Gospel Story who wanted to be <i>seen</i>, where <i>seen</i> by Jesus and <b>changed the energy</b> of entire crowds. <br />
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Let's remember that our students (and those we engage with every day in the stores, coffee shops, gyms and places we frequent) <b>desperately</b> want to be seen. That's why some do crazy things to stand out. They want to feel a part of something bigger than themselves. They want to be noticed. <br />
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As youth workers, we spend a lot of time being <i>seen</i> by those we are ministering to and with. If you want to <b>change the energy</b> in your student ministry, start by focussing on the answer that is right before your eyes-the students and adult volunteers the Lord has placed before you. <br />
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Place the Big Screen attention you posses as a leader on them and watch the energy rise in them and your ministry. <br />
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Oh, your first notion may be to focus on the "franchised" students and adults. They are easier and give you more in return right? Wrong. My advice, don't ignore those, but focus on students and adults who rarely get the Big Screen shot. That's what Jesus did and it worked out pretty good.<br />
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Here is a closing observation. One of the celebrities we watched (through the binoculars) was Mark Cuban. It was cool to watch his passion for his team and game. Even so, the one who stole the show and brought the energy to the Arena? <br />
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That young Mav fan-Just sayin'! <b>Seen People Bring Energy</b>!<br />
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<br />David Frazehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12934662870785750322noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-354919627089640224.post-40771044717742479602015-02-25T17:19:00.000-06:002015-02-25T17:19:49.091-06:00Falling to Stand Up<br />
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"<i>It is one of the most difficult things I have ever done</i>!"<br />
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This statement has come from the lips of parents who, even though they could have prevented the outcome, refused to intervene and allowed their kid to fail. To be transparent, these words have come from my lips as well. Knowing the foreseeable outcome and letting your kid fail and suffer the consequences of their own actions is truly difficult. However, even though one of the most difficult challenges faced by a parent, it is imperative that we not intervene in every instance that failure is the certain outcome of a poor choice. <br />
<br />Certainly, there are times when a life/death decision is in the balance and intervention is warranted. For example, a kid that believes they can float from the highest tree branch via umbrella needs to be stopped. Or, the kid that runs into the street needs to be stopped and instructed of the danger present when such action occurs. This type of intervention is part of helping children grow and understand the inherent dangers of living. However, at some point, a child will have all the information they need and will make a <i>choice</i>. That <i>choice </i>will have consequences-good or bad. <br />
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This is where the blur begins. A parent/guardian and the wise adults providing counsel (hopefully everyone reading this has or is building a wise team for counsel-parenting is a team sport) will arrive at a point that they know they have to step back and let the kid accept the consequences for their own choice. That point is <i>different for each student</i> (the blur). BUT the point where training has been completed will arrive and the parent/guardian will let their student experience the pain of failure. Again, it is one of the most difficult things a parent can do but it is essential to a kid's development that failure is allowed to happen. <br />
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Failure is not fatal. Failure can refine and define a kid. Kids that are allowed to fail refine their efforts, focus and determination to learn from their mistakes. Kids that are allowed to fail define their true strengths and weaknesses. <br />
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Yes, there are extremely painful <i>allowed to fail</i> situations in which a student's moral failure(s) has lead to major consequences. Allowing failure in these scenarios causes great and nightmarish pain for parents/guardians. Even so, without the consequences of a hard fall some students will never be able to refine and define their lives.<br />
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So, here is a set of questions for all of us to consider:<br />
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<li>Do you complete your student's homework and projects because you are afraid of them failing?</li>
<li>Do you complain when your student does not get the playing time you believe they "deserve"? </li>
<li>Do you fight your student's traffic tickets because you are afraid of their "permanent record"?</li>
<li>Do you cover your student's moral failures from caring adults that have expressed concern?</li>
<li>Do you work harder than your student in trying to make them "successful"? </li>
<li>Do you allow your student to "work you" and remove consequences from them when house rules are broken? </li>
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I know that in the real world these questions are not always cut and dry. Even so, how did you do? <br />
Even though difficult, failure is an essential element in a child's moral, spiritual and social development.<br />
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Remember when your child (all of us) learned how to walk? Falling was the natural consequence of balancing first steps. If our parent/guardian never allowed us to fall we would not have learned to walk. It was literally a <b>falling to stand up</b> learning experience. <br />
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It is good to let kids fail.<br />
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<br />David Frazehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12934662870785750322noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-354919627089640224.post-82199369710615487572015-02-20T10:10:00.000-06:002015-02-20T10:12:45.340-06:00Observations from a Social Media Addict<br />
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"Hello, my name is David and I am a social media addict!" <br />
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I have discovered this truth while in my recent <b>Social Media Fast</b> adventure. Many times over the last few weeks, I have reached for and/or wanted to check my status, likes/dislikes, comments and messages. Hopefully, as I have trickled back on the "social media juice," I have learned a few things. <br />
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I have <i>sorta </i>ended my <b>Social Media Fast</b>. I say <i>sorta</i> because I have established a few rules to better use the ol' social media in hopes that I do not let it consume too much of my time. There is much I have observed and many lessons learned during my fast. Here are a few that top my observations-lessons learned list:<br />
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<li><i>We, not just teenagers, are way too involved with social media. </i>I really don't believe I have to unpack my observation. Seriously, I can track several of my "friends" days from breakfast, lunch, supper, date nights and love life<i> </i>(I know--ew) by reading their <i>facebook</i> and/or <i>twitter</i> updates. My fast brought to light how many times I have often missed a present, never to be repeated moment because I had to <i>tweet </i>and post the event out to the world. Or, I am missing a present, never to be repeated moment because I am responding to a <i>tweet</i> or post from someone else's life. </li>
<li><i>People really did not miss my presence on social media & I lost NO FRIENDS during my fast </i>(Actually, I may have deepened a few of my friendships during this period of time because I had to <i>old school</i> text, talk on the phone and have face to face conversations). Hard truth, people are not waiting to hear and see what I have to post. "What?" "I love your posts Dave!" "They inspire me!" I am grateful that many of you like to read the material I post. However, I am certain you found other inspiring material to read while I was away. Point, we should not take our cyber presence so serious. Hard fact, their will always be someone to take our place in the ocean of social media. </li>
<li><i>I am a much better husband, dad and friend without social media participation. </i>Why? I was removed from the comparison, competition, consumerism and corresponding drama often created by social media participation. It is amazing how much better I relate to others when I only have my present reality and context to draw from.</li>
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Here are some rules I am putting in place to better use and not abuse social media. <br />
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<li><i>Turn off Social Media alerts</i>. This allows me to check social media information when <b>I want to</b> and not respond (like <i>Pavlov's </i>dog) when I hear a "ding" or other notification sound. Test, if you have ever reached for your phone when you heard a familiar "ding" or notification sound only to realize it was the person's phone next to you, you may want to turn off those alerts. </li>
<li><i>Turn off your social media when in the presence of spouse, family and friends. </i>Sure, pictures and videos are fun-capture those memories; but, wait to post! DON'T loose the moment! </li>
<li><i>Stop rationalizing and accept accountability. </i>Someone will or has let you know when you are way too into social media. Listen to them and accept their correction. My wonderful and wise wife has spoken this truth into me countless times and let me know that my social media consumption was out of control! We all need to listen and respond to those who are trying to tell us something. Oh, I have seen where fellow social media "junkies" tell other "junkies" to ignore the accountability and rationalize the over usage of social media-That's called co-dependence folks!</li>
<li><i>I will control social media and not let social media control me</i>. To be clear, social media is important and real social contact takes place in this location. So, I will continue to take periodic fasts from and control my participation in this powerful, cultural medium. </li>
</ul>
I hope these few observations, lessons and rules help your social media consumption. Now, stop reading and tweet and post this blog to the world. Oh wait...let the present reality of this blog hit home and post later (when you are not around your spouse, family and friends). <br />
<br />
<br />David Frazehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12934662870785750322noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-354919627089640224.post-90712383901008087772015-01-08T17:36:00.001-06:002015-01-11T13:37:24.173-06:00Playing God<div style="text-align: center;">
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<br />
I just finished a great week at the <i>National Conference on Student Ministry</i> (NCYM).<br />
Great Speakers<br />
Great Information<br />
Great People<br />
It was just...you know...<i>great</i>!<br />
<br />
The Executive Director of <i>Youth Specialties</i> (YS), Mark Matlock keynoted a night of the conference and had a perspective on social media I had never considered. He likened our (student and adult) obsession with our connections to media (social and otherwise) as an attempt to be omnipresent. Since God is the only one with omnipresent capabilities, we end up stressed, burdened and unable to be fully present in any of our contexts. We are
not built or intended to be omnipresent. So, if we want be fully present with our God, spouse, family and friends we need to <b>Stop Playing God</b>!<br />
<br />
Yes, I know. It hit me as well. I never considered an obsession with social media as an attempt to claim an attribute of God, but Mark is right. None of us are <i>so </i>important that a night without posting, checking or sending would stop the Earth's rotation. Deep inside, all of us know that a night without posting, checking and sending would create a much needed breath and space in our already busy and crowded lives. A breath and space that would allow us to be fully present.<br />
<br />
Take this little quiz (totally made up and unscientific-but it helps evaluate your level of media obsession) to see if you are Playing God:<br />
<ul>
<li>Do you ever "power down" your phone and media devices? Related, can you leave your phone or media devices off at night?</li>
<li>Do you "check" your phone and media devices during meal times?</li>
<li>Do you "share" too many moments or too much information via phone and media devices-in other words, you are often guilty of TMI? (This is a question best answered by a spouse or friend because those who "share" too much can't see the problem)</li>
<li>Do you "reach" for your phone every time you hear a ring tone (whether it is your tone or not)?</li>
<li>Do you "check" your phone or media device when in conversation with others?</li>
</ul>
If by answering these questions you have discovered you are trying to live the life of a god, the answer is simple (I did not say easy): <b>Power Down</b> and <b>Live in the Present</b>!<br />
<br />
Power Down! Self explanatory, find the "off switch" more often. <br />
<br />
And practically, "live" more in the present and "share" less online! Like this moment from <i>The Secret Life of Walter Mitty. </i>A moment that ends Walter's adventure filled journey to find a famed photographer (Sean Penn) who is discovered while patiently waiting to snap a picture of an allusive snow leopard. <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=voZ2CJUJXmk">Ghost Cat</a><br />
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Right after this moment (sorry-I could not find the clip), the Snow Leopard appeared and the photographer did something incredible. He did not take the picture. Why? (paraphrased) Some moments are best experienced and not shared. <br />
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<b>Power Down</b> and <b>Live in the Present</b>!<br />
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<br />David Frazehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12934662870785750322noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-354919627089640224.post-495577923028815172014-12-10T17:29:00.000-06:002014-12-10T17:52:19.578-06:00The 3 Most Powerful Words in Youth Ministry<br />
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<br />
"I like you!"<br />
What if these were the 3 most powerful words in Youth Ministry?<br />
<br />
Student ministers use the word "love" a lot-maybe too much.<br />
"I would <i>love</i> to have lunch with you guys."<br />
"I would <i>love </i>if you joined us at our church." <br />
"I really <i>loved</i> the sermon today."<br />
"I really <i>love</i> hanging out with students."<br />
"I really <i>loved </i>that conference."<br />
"I <i>love</i> this scripture, praise song, camp, mission site, preacher, blog...etc."<br />
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Oh, and there are given <i>love </i>statements students expect to hear from student ministers.<br />
"God <i>loves</i> you."<br />
"Christ <i>loves </i>you so much he died."<br />
"The Spirit <i>loves</i> and lives inside of you." <br />
<br />
Don't misunderstand. These are all fine and appropriate things to say. But what if students need to hear something else from you? What if they need to hear words that would help them clearly understand and believe the <i>love </i>statements you are desperately trying to communicate?<br />
<br />
Perhaps a disconnect comes from students wondering if you <i>like</i> them?<br />
I would say, for the most part, student's know you love them (that's why you drive vans with stinky teenagers in the heat of summer and plan lock-ins). But do your students know you <i>like </i>them?<br />
Do you hang around with the same students, families, activities?<br />
Do you talk about the same type of activities in your lesson illustrations?<br />
Do you pass certain students to talk with others on a constant basis?<br />
Do you have inside jokes with a limited number of students?<br />
If you answered yes to a few of these questions, you may be communicating an "I don't <i>like</i> you" message.<br />
<br />
Teenagers experience moments in which they doubt anyone <i>likes</i> them or that they possess a talent or ability that is <i>likeable</i>. They go through stage(s) in their life in which they feel invisible or at best common among peers. These are difficult times in which student's battle with tough developmental questions:<br />
"Who am I?"<br />
"Do my choices matter?"<br />
"Where do I belong?"<br />
These moments certainly call for a flood of <i>love</i> statements from caring adults and youth workers. But, in my opinion, these moments call for an even greater flood of <i>like</i> statements to validate the worthiness the feel to receive words of <i>loving</i> guidance into their core. <br />
<br />
Let me give you an example (this example has been changed for confidentiality).<br />
Years ago I had a young lady in my youth group that was difficult to <i>like</i>. She had a disability that made her irritable, argumentative and pretty much unable to work with others (imagine how complicated work projects could be if you were on this person's work crew). On top of all this, she came from a rough home situation and was often unkempt in appearance. She heard many <i>love</i> statements from our youth ministry team which seemed to fall on deaf ears. Why? She did not believe anyone <i>liked or could like </i>her. However, a group of students decided to "include" this young lady into their group (I know...a clear breach of teen world protocol) and caring adults began to point out unique things to <i>like</i> about this young lady. This changed everything. In short order, the <i>like </i>statements made it possible for the <i>love</i> statements to sink deep into her core. <br />
<br />
I am certain we all have students that need a flood of <i>like</i> statements. There are many things youth ministers and adults can do to begin a <i>like</i> flood, but here are a few suggestions:<br />
<ul>
<li><b>Spend time talking with the "unlikeable" in the presence of more "likeable" students.</b> There is great significance and <i>like</i> shown when passing the students that get all the attention from adults for students that stand apart from the group or look for a place to hide in the crowd.</li>
<li><b>Go to all types of events to support your students. </b> As a youth ministry professional or volunteer, you will naturally feel more comfortable around certain groups of students (athletic, artistic, creative, alternative, etc). Fight the urge to support one group over another. Yes, this is difficult, but a loud "I am likeable" message is communicated to students when you show up at games, concerts, performances, competitions or house. Please don't be that, "I only relate to athletic (insert other comfortable) students" type of youth minister. </li>
<li><b>Communicate<i> like</i> messages to students. </b>Old school works best here. Send an email, text or write a note and put it in the snail mail highlighting something you have seen that is unique, praiseworthy and likeable about a given student (I recommend you stay away from <i>tweets-</i>those can backfire and become a self-esteem competition) . Students cherish such communication.</li>
<li><b>Share the praise from the stage. </b>It is easy to call to the stage as an example and/or volunteer the likeable students. Why not share the stage with those who never or hardly ever share the spotlight? You will be communicating a strong <i>like</i> message. CAUTION: Some students do not like the stage. Do not embarrass a student-that message would change into an <i>unlike </i>message quickly. </li>
</ul>
Enjoy practicing the 3 most important words in youth ministry, "I LIKE YOU!"<br />
<br />David Frazehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12934662870785750322noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-354919627089640224.post-13818137285594979702014-11-30T20:00:00.001-06:002014-11-30T21:07:22.498-06:00Impending, Unavoidable, Irreversible, Overwhelming Doom: Teenagers and the 24 Hour News Cycle<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
<br />
Have you ever <i>really</i> listened to the first few moments, top of the hour or commercial "tease" into the news? If you listen carefully, each of these messages seem to indicate...<br />
<br />
...impending doom<br />
...unavoidable destruction<br />
...irreversible damage <br />
and<br />
...overwhelming concern<br />
<br />
<b>Every</b> major weather system is the worst ever. <b>Every</b> election cycle brings our country to the brink of destruction. <b>Every </b>sickness is the president's fault. Really? By the way, after you are "teased" into viewing, the news channel's
promise of impending, unavoidable, irreversible and critical doom is typically downgraded or reversed. <br />
<br />
Certainly, there are real concerns that need to be addressed in our country and world.<br />
<br />
However, a clear and sensible conversation seems terribly difficult to have in a culture that seems more concerned with market share and political affiliation (liberal and conservative) than covering the news and promoting dialogue. This type of news coverage NEVER ENDS. It is called the 24 Hour News Cycle and it creates opportunity for great misunderstanding and misrepresentation.<br />
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What does this have to do with teenagers? A great deal!<br />
<br />
Teenagers have their own 24 Hour news cycle. It is found on Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat and other social networking locations. Honestly, it NEVER ENDS and it creates opportunity for great misunderstanding and misrepresentation.<br />
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If you are an adult, think back to your teenage years for a moment. If you had drama at school or an extracurricular activity, you could take a break from the pressure by going home or a trusted friends house for a while. Even though a "tacky" note or picture could be circulating around your friend group, in many cases, those could be destroyed. A moment of peace could be found.<br />
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Today, things are much different. If today's student has drama at school or extracurricular activity, it can be hard to take a break from the pressure at home or a house of a trusted friend. Why? Unlike the "tacky" notes and pictures of the past, the world of Social Media NEVER ENDS. The Teenage news cycle runs 24 hours. A moment of peace takes intentionality-something teenagers often lack.<br />
<br />
So what do we as caring adults in a student's life do? Let me suggest two things:<br />
<ul>
<li><b>Wait to introduce your younger children/teenager to Social Media.</b> I know, I am suggesting you become the uncool parent. Remember, our job as parents is not to be cool but help our children become healthy, functional, productive adults. I see a lot of elementary students with very expensive electronic devices. And, even though age limits are set by companies, parents allow their children to be on Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, etc. because other kids are being allowed onto these sites. Here is a fact, once you start, it is hard to say "no" to social media. It really is alright to push back phone and media usage until later teenage years.</li>
<li><b>Do not let your student keep their phone (and other social media devices) in their room at night. </b>Yes, the uncool parent theme continues. Especially with phone usage, a student will text, game, tweet and Instagram all night long if allowed. This is not healthy and leads to a whole list of cascading consequences to mental and physical health. Negotiate a time that is acceptable and comfortable for you and your teenager. Oh, in the negotiations, you are the adult and always carry the majority. </li>
</ul>
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<br />David Frazehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12934662870785750322noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-354919627089640224.post-40623613389610083022014-11-19T16:25:00.002-06:002014-11-19T17:37:55.477-06:00Cut the ShootIt is time to share another video (I know...cheep blogging material, but I had to share)!<br />
<br />
Tripp and Tyler are a well known (in Christian circles) sketch comedy duo (www.trippandtyler.tv). Their material is fun to watch and often contains a gotcha message Jesus followers need (may not want) to hear. This is one of those videos.<br />
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(If it does not play, the link is <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Dxo0Yjno3I">Shoot Christians Say</a>)<br />
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Whats the point? Could it be that our language keeps us from communicating a clear message to the world ("christian" and otherwise) we are trying to impact with the message of Jesus? Yes.<br />
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I love talking with those who are easy to read and communicate their feelings without the <i>churchy </i>qualifiers. I find that type of communication authentic and reflective of many of the psalms that state raw, unfiltered truths about life and the experience of living in a fallen world. That type of honest communication also allows for a deeper, more relevant discussion of faith. <br />
<br />
Here are a few suggestions for dropping the <i>Shoot Christians Say</i>:<br />
<ul>
<li><b>Don't defend. </b>There are times <i>shoot</i> is shared because we feel like God is being attacked by someone we are talking to and we do not have an answer for their complaint. Remember, it is alright to say nothing or...get ready..."I don't know" when God (or you) is being attacked. </li>
<li><b>Don't deflect</b>. There are times <i>shoot</i> is shared when we feel cornered by someone asking about (sometimes prying) our personal life and/or walk (used in the most authentic sense here) with Christ. Yes, it is not responsible or recommended that you open up to everyone who asks you questions. However, there SHOULD BE someone in your life with a high level of clearance and openness is a given. </li>
<li><b>Don't destroy. </b>There are times <i>shoot</i> is shared because we want to gossip about the evil in someone's life but we have no intention on talking with that person directly. In short, don't talk about someone if you do not have the intention of directly visiting and/or finding help (that you are directly involved with) for that person. </li>
<li><b>Don't discombobulate (sorry, I wanted a "d-word" for confuse)</b>. It is easy to confuse the simple message of Jesus with a myriad of marketing angles. If you do not believe this, next time you are driving down the road, read all of the signs wanting you to come to their church. I am not against marketing! I am against anything that discombobulates (confuses) the simple message of Jesus. Oh, often more confusing than a billboard is the "insider" language we speak to each other about our programs and events. </li>
</ul>
The world has enough conflicting and confusing messages floating around about Christ and His people. Let's do our part to end the conflict and confusion by cutting the <i>shoot</i>. <br />
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<br />David Frazehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12934662870785750322noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-354919627089640224.post-49626952969874344102014-11-15T15:08:00.003-06:002014-11-15T15:24:38.990-06:00Don't Get Worked!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I come across all types of messages, pictures and conversations while perusing (I have been waiting to use this cool word) social media sites. The picture below is a dandy and highlights a way too common failure in parenting.<br />
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Staged? Certainly (at least I hope so).<br />
<br />
Exaggerated? Certainly (at least I hope so).<br />
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Truth? Certainly (I know so). <br />
<br />
Kids of any age, especially teenagers, will look for ways to get what they want. They will ask one parent and then ask the other if the answer they receive from the first is not the answer they wanted (read that sentence again). While every home experiences this common kid/student practice, homes that are blended, single-parent, separated, grandparent and/or adult guardian led can be particularly subject to being "worked" by the students in their care. <br />
<br />
If you are reading this and are the parent/guardian <b>who trumps </b>the other parent/guardian with the "yes," this is a problem. You are not being <i>cool,</i> <i>better </i>and/or more <i>understanding</i>. You are causing damage to your student's future understanding of how the real world works and actually hurting your kid. Oh, and you are being "worked."<br />
<br />
If you are reading this and are the parent/guardian who is <b>being trumped </b>by the other parent/guardian, you have a part in this "working" as well. Is there a reason you are being trumped? Are you allowing for dialogue with your other parent/guardian or does everything have to be done your way? This too causes damage and impacting your student's understanding of how the real world works.<br />
<br />
So...how can parents/guardians prevent being successfully "worked" by their kids? Here are a few suggestions:<br />
<ul>
<li><b>Check with the other parent/guardian.</b> It can be as easy as a phone call or text. When asked by your student to do, buy, go, etc. something, take a moment to check with the other parent/guardian. If there is disagreement, tell your student you will give them an answer later. It is okay for your kid to wait for an answer. You are the one in charge.</li>
<li><b>Talk with the other parent/guardian before a question is given. </b>What are your feelings on dress, parties, music, movies, friends, etc.? Talk about your values concerning each of these topics <i>before</i> your kid asks to do, buy, go, etc. </li>
<li><b>Respect and support the opinion of the other parent/guardian. </b>In other words, if a student says, "Can I go...?" and you ask, "What did your mother say?" Support your spouse/guardian. Be on the same page. This is a particularly difficult thing to do if you are in a divorced, separated or single parent situation. Still, it is important that both father and mother have a civil and productive conversation on what is best (yes, this can be subjective) for the student(s) you have a responsibility. If respect and support are difficult, find a counselor or trusted adult that can mediate a civil and productive conversation so that both parents/guardians can be on the same page.</li>
</ul>
While being "worked" is a natural hazard of parenting a student, a little "work" by parents/guardians before goes a long way. <br />
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<br />David Frazehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12934662870785750322noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-354919627089640224.post-88057630404612735652014-10-23T15:28:00.001-05:002014-10-23T15:29:25.730-05:00I Hate to Bust your Bubble<br />
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".<i>..for there were many who followed him.</i>"<br />
<br />
What "type" of people followed Jesus? <br />
<br />
Religious? Sometimes.<br />
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Rich? Sometimes.<br />
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Famous? Sometimes.<br />
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Disciples? Of Course. <br />
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"...<i>tax collectors and sinners</i>..."? <b>YES</b>!<br />
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The quotation marks come from Mark 2:15. Perhaps it is one of those verses we read too quickly because it is sandwiched between the calling of Levi and another controversy with the Pharisees. However, it contains and incredible truth about Jesus; the Jesus I am suppose to walk through the world like He walked through the world. Consider the entire verse:<br />
<br />
<i><span class="text Mark-2-15" id="en-NIV-24276">While Jesus was having
dinner at Levi’s house, <b>many</b> tax collectors and sinners were eating with
him and his disciples, for there were <b>many</b> who followed him.</span></i><br />
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<span class="text Mark-2-15" id="en-NIV-24276">I highlighted the word that really jumps out at me-<i><b>many.</b></i> </span><i><span class="text Mark-2-15" id="en-NIV-24276"> </span></i><span class="text Mark-2-15" id="en-NIV-24276">The fact that <b>many</b> tax collectors (some of the most despised and subsequently marginalized people in Jesus' day) and sinners (no explanation necessary) followed Jesus may not seem like an earth shattering truth. But in light of the whole "walk through the world like Jesus walked through the world" thought (Discipleship), it is huge and begs a few questions! </span><br />
<span class="text Mark-2-15" id="en-NIV-24276"><br /></span>
<span class="text Mark-2-15" id="en-NIV-24276">How many <i>tax collectors and sinners</i> follow me? </span><br />
<span class="text Mark-2-15" id="en-NIV-24276"><br />How many <i>tax collectors and sinners</i> do I know or spend time getting to know? </span><br />
<span class="text Mark-2-15" id="en-NIV-24276"><br /></span>
<span class="text Mark-2-15" id="en-NIV-24276">After 26 plus years of student ministry (yes, I am "seasoned"), I remember one of the goals of youth ministry was keeping our teenagers away from and creating Christian sub-culture(s) that competed with and prevented contact with </span>all those <span class="text Mark-2-15" id="en-NIV-24276"><i>tax collectors and sinners.</i> Despite our best efforts, students still walked away from the Church (and continue to do so) when their Christian sub-culture(s) where punctured by the world and they did not have the ability to breath faith outside the bubble(s). Yes, I admit, that last sentence reduces a multifaceted faith development problem to a single statement, but it highlights the failure of Christian isolationism to disciple our children. </span><br />
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<span class="text Mark-2-15" id="en-NIV-24276">Related, how many times has a church's main <i>tax collectors and sinners</i> conversion strategy involved calling to them from <i>within</i> our highly decorated, competing, programmed and advertised bubble(s)? I have been involved in many of these type of events and really enjoyed the experiences. However, very few <i>tax collectors and sinners</i> actually attended many of these events. </span><br />
<span class="text Mark-2-15" id="en-NIV-24276"><br /></span>
<span class="text Mark-2-15" id="en-NIV-24276">Here are a couple of suggestions I believe can be made in light of these ministry experiences and 31 years of attempting to walk through the world as Jesus walked through the world: </span><br />
<ul>
<li><span class="text Mark-2-15" id="en-NIV-24276">One, a student's spiritual formation (Discipleship) must include instruction and experience on how to live among, thrive alongside and draw <i>tax collectors and sinners</i> from outside the "Bubble." </span></li>
<li><span class="text Mark-2-15" id="en-NIV-24276">Two, while I am not against highly decorated, competing, programmed and advertised invitation to "bubble" events (concerts, plays, conferences, worship services, movies, etc.), <i>tax collectors and sinners</i> will come to <b>know</b> Jesus (and more often attend these types of events) because a Jesus follower they <b>know</b> from <i>outside the bubble</i> invited them to attend. It may be painful to hear, but excluding</span><span class="text Mark-2-15" id="en-NIV-24276"> the Billy Graham, Andy Stanley, Max Lucado type figures, </span><span class="text Mark-2-15" id="en-NIV-24276">a <i>real-outside the bubble livin'-tax collector-sinner</i> has little knowledge of all the "famous" Jesus presenters. However, </span><span class="text Mark-2-15" id="en-NIV-24276">they have great knowledge of and watch those they know are Jesus followers. </span></li>
</ul>
<span class="text Mark-2-15" id="en-NIV-24276">So, with these thoughts in mind...</span><br />
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<span class="text Mark-2-15" id="en-NIV-24276">How many <i>tax collectors and sinners</i> follow you? </span><br />
<span class="text Mark-2-15" id="en-NIV-24276"><br />How many <i>tax collectors and sinners</i> do you know or spend time getting to know? </span><br />
<span class="text Mark-2-15" id="en-NIV-24276"><br /></span>
<span class="text Mark-2-15" id="en-NIV-24276"><br /></span>
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<span class="text Mark-2-15" id="en-NIV-24276"><br /></span>David Frazehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12934662870785750322noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-354919627089640224.post-75923156797728674852014-10-16T17:15:00.000-05:002014-10-16T17:15:37.680-05:00Auto-Correct Humanity<br />
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My dear friend Cindi Schrimsher (who loves her social media) shared this video with several of us last week. The video speaks for itself and helps create dialogue on the use, misuse and overuse of technology in today's world. If not careful, we will lose more than we know.<br />
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I told you.<br />
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Enjoy the dialogue...I am going to turn off my computer now.<br />
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<br />David Frazehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12934662870785750322noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-354919627089640224.post-84469152046908206232014-09-23T14:07:00.002-05:002014-09-23T14:08:18.799-05:00Rules for Revolution<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I receive a lot of <i>forwards</i> and <i>Cc-s</i> in my inbox. Typically, they are rushed into the trash bin. However, there are a few <i>forwards</i> and <i>Cc-s</i> I rush to read. This is one of those. </div>
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In <b>no way</b> am I attempting to make a political statement or liken any political party's agenda with Communism. I am sharing the following newspaper clipping from 1919 (via 1970-1975) to help all of us evaluate our 2014. </div>
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Feel free to make and/or share your own observations. I suggest reading the article through the various lenses of faith and family. <b>NOTE</b>: Even though a rich conversation starter on current political topics, I do not welcome political observations on this blog sight and/or Facebook. </div>
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I do invite you to share observations as they relate to faith and family. </div>
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I do encourage you to use these "Rules" as a discussion starter with Adults and Students. </div>
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<br />David Frazehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12934662870785750322noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-354919627089640224.post-11103851151753514392014-09-10T10:48:00.002-05:002014-09-10T10:49:26.720-05:00Lecture Little-Listen Lots<span class="text Jas-1-19"><sup class="versenum"> </sup> </span><br />
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<span class="text Jas-1-19">My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,</span> <span class="text Jas-1-20" id="en-NIV-30287">because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.</span><br />
<span class="text Jas-1-20" id="en-NIV-30287">- <i>James </i>(1:19)</span><br />
<span class="text Jas-1-20" id="en-NIV-30287"><br /></span>
<span class="text Jas-1-20" id="en-NIV-30287">What a great verse for all of us who parent or work with teenagers. A <i>difficult</i> verse-but great!</span><br />
<span class="text Jas-1-20" id="en-NIV-30287"><br /></span>
<span class="text Jas-1-20" id="en-NIV-30287">Why is it difficult?</span><br />
<span class="text Jas-1-20" id="en-NIV-30287"><br />Because, like the adults who came before us, <b>I</b> believe<b> I </b>have something to say that is filled with wisdom and needs to be heard. <b>I </b>no longer need to listen. <b>I </b>need to engage. </span><br />
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<span class="text Jas-1-20" id="en-NIV-30287">Did you catch it? </span><span class="text Jas-1-20" id="en-NIV-30287">The word "<b>I</b>" was used 4 times in the last few sentences! </span><span class="text Jas-1-20" id="en-NIV-30287"><i>A moment of transparency</i>-isn't this what gets most of us parents and adults into communication trouble with teenagers? It is more about assuring that our words are heard than listening to theirs. Pause and consider that last sentence again. </span><br />
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<span class="text Jas-1-20" id="en-NIV-30287">I am not advocating a release of parental/adult authority. I am suggesting that more <i>listening</i> actually enforces and/or regains authority and <i>lowers</i> the anger level (it is what the Bible says). Here are a few better <i>listening </i>and <i>talking </i>(lecturing) suggestions:</span><br />
<ul>
<li><span class="text Jas-1-20" id="en-NIV-30287"><b>Ask Questions. </b>Let me start by saying this step may lead to a high frustration level </span><span class="text Jas-1-20" id="en-NIV-30287">rather </span><span class="text Jas-1-20" id="en-NIV-30287">quickly (when a student answers a question with "I don't know" or "Whatever"-you may need to read the <i>ONE of My Parenting Flaws</i> post again). Still, ask leading questions of students. Questions that invite them to express their opinions, thoughts, perspective or defense <i>first.</i> Questions like...</span></li>
<ul>
<li><span class="text Jas-1-20" id="en-NIV-30287">Why would I have received an email from your teacher?</span></li>
<li><span class="text Jas-1-20" id="en-NIV-30287">What happened that your were late coming home last night?</span></li>
<li><span class="text Jas-1-20" id="en-NIV-30287">Did you know(name of friend)'s mom called me yesterday? </span></li>
<li><span class="text Jas-1-20" id="en-NIV-30287">(After emotions settle) What got you so upset this morning? </span><span class="text Jas-1-20" id="en-NIV-30287"> </span></li>
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<span class="text Jas-1-20" id="en-NIV-30287"> ...provide a student with a first response opportunity. </span><br />
<span class="text Jas-1-20" id="en-NIV-30287"></span><br />
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<li><span class="text Jas-1-20" id="en-NIV-30287"><b>Let students finish their answer before you respond. </b>Responses naturally lead to follow up questions and need for further clarification. Before you make a follow up move, be sure you let the student finish their answer. I know, <i>easier said than done</i>. Students often spin a response and/or lie to protect themselves or friends. Still, before the logical follow up moves, listen to their entire response. Again, when you know the answer to the question before you ask, patience and calm is key and very difficult. </span></li>
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<span class="text Jas-1-20" id="en-NIV-30287"></span><br />
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<li><span class="text Jas-1-20" id="en-NIV-30287"><b>Set the table. </b>If you know the conversation you are about to have with a student is going to be difficult, say so at the beginning. Statements like...</span><span class="text Jas-1-20" id="en-NIV-30287"> </span></li>
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<span class="text Jas-1-20" id="en-NIV-30287">"<i>We need to have a conversation about your homework (just picked a difficult topic). We have talked about this a number of times and has led to a few arguments. I believe neither of us wish to have an argument. So, even though it may be difficult, I want to hear what you have to say and see if we can have a calm discussion about what we can do to improve the situation.</i>"</span><span class="text Jas-1-20" id="en-NIV-30287"> </span><br />
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<span class="text Jas-1-20" id="en-NIV-30287"> </span><span class="text Jas-1-20" id="en-NIV-30287">...can really lower stress levels and set positive expectations for the conversation and outcomes.</span><br />
<span class="text Jas-1-20" id="en-NIV-30287"><b> </b></span><br />
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<li><span class="text Jas-1-20" id="en-NIV-30287"><b>Use a "cheat sheet." </b>Before having a difficult conversation with your student and to assure you have your questions and information you wish to share prepared, <i>write it down</i>. Often, when the listening stops and the powerful "<b>I</b>" begins to surface, it is because our emotions take us off script. When this happens, the logical next step for parents/adults is to take an authoritative stance and take control. </span></li>
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<span class="text Jas-1-20" id="en-NIV-30287">Communication is difficult in the best of situations. I can tell you from personal experience that the powerful "<b>I</b>" reactions have surfaced on more than one occasion in my relationships with teenagers. <b>Don't give up</b>. Keep practicing those <i>listening</i> and <i>talking</i> (lecturing) skills.</span><br />
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David Frazehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12934662870785750322noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-354919627089640224.post-5944511504382483712014-09-05T10:06:00.001-05:002014-09-05T11:54:25.495-05:00ONE of My Parenting Flaws<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTLA6z-xKvAqQC3-5mbQS7xzz4PxuaWZ9v9YksHXbpE4Sv-VU9vnMt6sbRZB7csNe4HByrW6LizAeUevPZI5cO9hDTUUHwowAG-bFk6fJ84SyWrURSo_e2Y9eFOzjRkjOFAwJL6N09STtz/s1600/57277897-Anxious-parents-612x300.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTLA6z-xKvAqQC3-5mbQS7xzz4PxuaWZ9v9YksHXbpE4Sv-VU9vnMt6sbRZB7csNe4HByrW6LizAeUevPZI5cO9hDTUUHwowAG-bFk6fJ84SyWrURSo_e2Y9eFOzjRkjOFAwJL6N09STtz/s1600/57277897-Anxious-parents-612x300.jpg" height="156" width="320" /></a></div>
Let me share one of my favorite concepts in working with people (parenting, teaching, youth-pasturing).<br />
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<b>Non-Anxious Presence: </b>The ability to remain calm when the situation and/or person you are interacting with has lost or losing their calm. (This is a <i>very</i> condensed definition, gathered from a lot of sources and a key element in the concept of self-differentiation). <br />
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As an adult, working with people and other people's students, I do a pretty good job of non-anxious presence-<i>ing</i>. <br />
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As a parent, when it is my <i>own </i>people and student, my non-anxious presence-<i>ing</i> needs a little work. <br />
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Anybody with me out here?<br />
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There is something about your<i> own </i>people and student that ramps up the anxiety levels. Even so, if not managed, one will parent out of fear and rigidness instead of confidence and flexibility. <br />
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So, if you are like me and need help with your non-anxious presence parenting skill, try one of these. <br />
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<ul>
<li><b>Let Emotions Settle</b>. Before entering into a potentially <i>heated</i> conversation with your student, take a break, breath deep and settle. Yes, there are emergencies, but most difficult conversations can wait until <i>both parent and student </i>emotions settle. </li>
<li><b>Make and Have a Plan. </b>Before the conversation, talk with your spouse (or trusted adult) about the situation and brainstorm ideas for engagement. Emotions can quickly escalate in the simplest of conversations. Have a plan.</li>
<li><b>Take a Break.</b> The first two suggestions are easier done when NOT in the middle of a tense (nice word for arguing) moment. If you find yourself in an emotional battle with your student, no one wins and things can be said that damage a relationship (remember fear and rigidness replaces confidence and flexibility in parenting when anxiety level rise ). Take a break. Develop a code word for either you or your student to say in order to withdraw and let the <i>emotions settle</i>. With that in mind, remember that a break <i>does not mean</i> avoidance of conversation! </li>
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I hope you enjoyed a look into ONE of my parenting flaws. Now, let's all breath deep...let it out...and get back to confident and flexible parenting. David Frazehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12934662870785750322noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-354919627089640224.post-81488162845154089122014-08-21T10:01:00.001-05:002014-08-21T10:01:51.574-05:00"Your Parents are Wrong!"<br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Calibri;">"<i>Your Parents are wrong</i>!" </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Calibri;">I make this comment at least a couple times a year when speaking to students on the topic of moral decision making in the context of Discipleship (fancy word for following the example and direction of Jesus in how life should be lived). The comment reflects a reality that parents, <b>and surrounding adults, </b>have the ability to negate and/or disqualify the moral directives of Jesus by the way they live their lives. My wife Lisa and I often say, "We can not out teach what happens in the home or surrounding adult community. We are just not that good." So, when teaching on moral decision making, the statement is a challenge for students (all of us actually) to follow the example and direction of Jesus over any authority that stands in contradiction with His lead. Just in case you are wondering, I do not incite students to riot against authority (could be awesome but very irresponsible). We are to honor our father, mother and those in authority over us (that is also part of discipleship-Ephesians 6; I Peter 2). Still, as a Disciple of Jesus, his authority over our moral decision making is of first priority-we do call Him <b>Lord of our life</b>. So...</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Calibri;">"<i>What should I wear</i>?"</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Calibri;">"<i>How should I speak</i>?"</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Calibri;"></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Calibri;">"<i>What movie should I watch</i>?"</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Calibri;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Calibri;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Calibri;">"<i>Should I do my own homework</i>?"</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Calibri;">"<i>What music should I listen to</i>?"</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Calibri;">"<i>How should I view authority</i>?"</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Calibri;">"<i>How should I spend my time</i>?"</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Calibri;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Calibri;">are decisions that SHOULD be impacted by our commitment to follow Jesus as Lord. Again, "<i>Your Parents are wrong</i>!" is not a statement derailing adult authority. It is a statement highlighting the <i>elephant in the room</i>. Adults (speaking to myself here) need to live with the weight that the way we live our lives before our students (our own and others) directly impacts the way they make moral decisions. Check this out: </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Calibri;">“the
</span><span style="color: black; font-family: Calibri; font-weight: bold;">most persuasive </span><span style="color: black; font-family: Calibri;">moral
teaching we adults do is by <b>example</b>: the witness of our lives, our ways of
being with others and speaking to them and getting on with them—all of that
taken in slowly, cumulatively, by our sons and daughters, our students.” </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Calibri;">
</span><span style="color: #3b9b8a; font-family: Calibri;">–Robert Coles,
</span><span style="color: #3b9b8a; font-family: Calibri; font-style: italic;">The Moral Intelligence of
Children</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: #3b9b8a; font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: black;"><b>Hard Reality</b>: Students with the very best, morally solid, <b>examplar adults</b> in their lives can make the worst decisions (it is all that free-will stuff). </span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: #3b9b8a; font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: black;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #3b9b8a; font-family: Calibri; font-style: italic;"></span></span>
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: #3b9b8a; font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: black;"><b>Harder Reality</b>: If your student is making poor choices, the first place you should look is at the moral witness of your home and surrounding adult community. </span></span><span style="color: #3b9b8a; font-family: Calibri; font-style: italic;"></span></span>
<br />
<br />David Frazehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12934662870785750322noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-354919627089640224.post-5027020383544625932014-08-14T17:27:00.002-05:002014-08-14T17:27:46.667-05:00Read this Church: A Sticky Faith Testimony<br />
<br />
<br />
There is actually a joke that often circulates around my office and other church staff meetings. It is more of a comment concerning the number of times the word "Intergenerational" comes up when I am involved in ministry conversations. To be honest, I love that the word has become a part of our church's vocabulary and love every time the word is used in <b>any</b> context.<br />
<br />
David, "<i>Why do you love being annoying</i>?" (<i>annoying</i> may be a bad word, let's say <i>persistent</i>)<br />
<br />
Because focusing on Intergenerational relationships in Youth Ministry create a wonderful tapestry of support structures that help students embrace and mature in their faith.<br />
<br />
I want you to read the blog post from one of our recent 24:7 Student Ministry graduates. I do not share this to "brag" about our church and ministry programs (I could brag about the greatest group of adult volunteers in the world). I also do not share this to highlight one student above another (all of our students are wonderful). I share this as a testimony of the impact a church with an Intergenerational focus can have on a young person's life. By the way, I asked permission to use his post but you may want to make this young man's blog a regular read. Here is the link <a href="http://jaredking24.wordpress.com/">jaredking24.wordpress.com</a><br />
<br />
__________<br />
<br />
<header class="entry-header fullwidth-block">
<h1 class="entry-title">
Thank You </h1>
</header>
This blog really has a dual purpose. First and foremost, I’d like
to thank everyone who has been involved with The Hills Church of
Christ 24:7 Student Ministry, to any degree, for changing and shaping my
life. The second purpose is to brag on what an amazing student ministry
24:7 has been, and will continue to be in the future. But first, a
disclaimer..<br />
<i>*In no way, shape, or form does my declaration of immense
gratitude to all 24:7 related parties signify the end of my contact
with said parties, or the participation in said ministry. I plan on
staying active in the lives of those at The Hills, and will be as
involved as humanly possible while living three hours away. You </i><i>can’t get rid of me that easily.*</i><br />
Now before the tears start flowing, thank you…<br />
<b>The Hills Elders and Senior Staff: </b>Thank you for being
possibly the most loving and caring church leaders on the planet. While
The Hills is the only church I’ve attended regularly for the last 13
years, I’m well aware that many church leaders do not look upon the
youth of their congregation with the same fondness and respect I have
seen from you. I love that you have thrown out the old saying that
“children are the church of <i>tomorrow</i>” and have actively sought to make us a part of the church <i>today. </i>I
can’t imagine other churches having most of the senior staff speak for
the youth group on an annual basis like Rick Atchley, Cary Branscum,
Mike Washburn, Charley Taylor, and many others have now done the past
few years. Even more incredible is the way you have attempted to
integrate teens into the church wide ministry boards whether it be Men’s
ministry, Women’s ministry, or Missions. Saying that we are the church
of today is one thing, but asking us to take responsibility for what is
going on in the church is another level of confidence that means the
world to me and many others who want to feel like an important part of
the church. Thank you to the elders who constantly prayed over us before
retreats, camps, mission trips. The words of blessing sometimes spoken
at 7am or earlier on a Saturday morning mean more than I can fully
appreciate. Thank you for the way you treat the youth staff. From
watching and hearing stories of how my dad was treated by elders and
senior staff as a youth minister, I should have no desire to become one.
But because of the love and respect I have seen you give Dave, Jason,
Darin, Melanie, and Nicole, I have hope for my future church to want
show Christ to all they meet, regardless of age.<br />
<b>The 24:7 Youth Staff: </b>Thank you for literally
changing the course of my life. I have no idea where I would be going
and what I would be doing with my life if it wasn’t for your love and
example. It was 8th grade when I first decided I wanted to become a
youth minister. At that point it was just cause I loved worship and
liked the idea of going to camps and retreats and getting paid for it.
But over the last four years, especially this past year, you have taught
me what being a youth minister really means. It is so much more than
anyone on the outside could ever imagine. You have let me in on the
heart of 24:7. You’ve shown me hearts aren’t always pretty; tensions
flare, stresses rise, patiences are tested, and heartaches happen. But
the joy I’ve seen radiate through you in spite of all you have seen is
what is truly inspiring. Thank you Darin and Melanie for getting me
hooked on 24:7. Until E-camp my 6th grade year I wanted nothing to do
with 24:7 and the OKC and Little Rock mission trips made me realize the
joys of serving others. Thank you Jeff and Jason Allen for being a light
in my life from another campus. I thoroughly enjoyed the time I spent
with each of you on trips. Southlake and WFW are in excellent hands with
the two of you at the helm. God is doing amazing things through you.
Thank you Nicole for the impact you made on so many teens lives while
you were here. I learned a lot from hearing stories of you counseling
students and watching you work in the lives of many of my friends on
incredibly intimate levels. Nashville is ridiculously blessed to have
you changing lives there. You and Melanie have been shining examples
that women are needed in youth ministry. Thank you John for all the
things that you have done with the band and your creative inputs
throughout the ministry. Also thanks for helping me realize I could
sing. Leading worship with you is one of my absolute favorite
experiences in 24:7. Thank you to Jason and Dave for putting so much
into my life to help me grow foremost as a man of God, but also as a
future youth minister. The experiences you have given me I wouldn’t
trade for anything. Whether it was letting me on staff at e-camp, taking
me on speaking engagements, letting me teach lessons, or just talking
with me about life, you have shaped the way I look at life and at
ministry specifically. If I could be half the men you are, I would be
perfectly content with my character and my ability to minister. Thank
you to all the staff on each campus for being an example of Christ to so
many teens over the years and for years to come.<br />
<b><img alt="2013-07-05 01.44.12" class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-61" src="http://jaredking24.files.wordpress.com/2014/08/2013-07-05-01-44-12-e1407994226489.png?w=280&h=300" height="300" width="280" /></b><br />
<b>The Adult Volunteers: </b>Thank you for being what
likely separates 24:7 the most from other student ministries. I have
never seen such a large group of adults care so deeply about kids that
were not their own. However, many of you have treated me like one of
your own and because of that I am truly blessed. D-groups have shown me
what it means for the body of Christ to raise children. The love that I
have felt from The Wards, Halls, Peschells, Jones, and all the other
parents of my class involved has kept me on the path for years now. I
love knowing that just because I’m farther away the relationships don’t
end and you will continue to make sure I’m on the path. Thank you to the
Herrera’s. Brian and Angela, you have been actual family to me and I
often forget we aren’t actually related. It feels like I have known you
forever but its really been less than three years. But in that time you
have opened up your home and opened up your lives for me and so many
others. Your transparency is inspiring and your willingness to give
advice and encouragement is wonderful. I don’t know what I would do
without your family. Thank you to all the volunteers who have simply
talked with me and encouraged me throughout my 24:7 experience. Without
you 24:7 would not be the safe place it has been for countless teens who
desperately needed caring and Godly adults in their lives.<br />
<b>The Students: </b>Thank you. I am honestly at a loss on
how to display the affection I have for all of you. I have been blessed
by so many who have come and graduated before me but blessed my life and
gave their friendship to me. I have so many dear friends in classes
behind me who consider me a role model but I learn more from them than
they possibly could from me. Awesome things are going to happen through
24:7 because of those of you who will be leading in the years to come.
Thank you most of all to my fellow graduates. We did it. We made it
through the hell that was middle school and thrived in the joys and
pains of high school because of the bond we have with each other through
Christ. I have no doubt that I have been a part of the greatest class
to have ever gone through 24:7. The things that you all will do with
your lives for the Kingdom are limitless. I don’t know what to say other
than each one of you has my undying love and regardless of us going
separate ways, we are still the body of Christ. In times of joy, we will
be there. In times of pain, we will be there. In times of normality, we
will be there. In times of uncertainty, we will be there. When time is
no more and Heaven has come to earth, we will be there.<br />
<br />
<img alt="2014-06-28 00.08.27" class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-60" src="http://jaredking24.files.wordpress.com/2014/08/2014-06-28-00-08-27-e1407994086896.png?w=300&h=199" height="199" width="300" /><br />
“I will give them a heart to know me, that I am the LORD. They will
be my people, and I will be their God, for they will return to me with
all their heart.” -Jeremiah 24:7<br />
<br />
__________<br />
<br />
As I look at the picture Jared shared above (Senior Class 2014), I am certain many, if not all, of these students could share stories of a church and adults who have impacted their spiritual journey in "<b>Sticky Faith</b>" manner.<br />
<br />
Senior Pastors, Executive Ministers, Student Ministers, Adult Volunteers, Parents...it takes effort, causes frustration and there are mistakes that can be made when in attempting to keep an Intergenerational focus in programming (I know, we make a lot). Still, the results are worth the cost! <br />
<br />David Frazehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12934662870785750322noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-354919627089640224.post-39573945495885313842014-08-06T18:28:00.001-05:002014-08-06T18:31:20.414-05:00Satire is not a dirty word!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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The Summer Student Ministry Season is coming to a close and the Fall is rapidly approaching. If you are a Student Minister, Volunteer, Parent, Intern, Senior Pastor, Executive Minister...well...if you are anyone presently involved in Fall Ministry planning, I have a video and a few suggestions to share as you go through your planning process. But first, a definition. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<b>Satire: </b>Satire is a genre of literature<span style="color: black;">, and sometimes graphic and performing arts,
in which vices, follies, abuses, and shortcomings are held up to
ridicule, ideally with the intent of shaming individuals, corporations,
government or society itself, into improvement<sup class="reference" id="cite_ref-FOOTNOTEElliott2004_1-0"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Satire#cite_note-FOOTNOTEElliott2004-1"></a></sup> Although satire is usually meant to be humorous, its greater purpose is often constructive social criticism, using wit as a weapon and as a tool to draw attention to both particular and wider issues in society. -<i>The </i>Wikipedia<i> </i>(My personal "satire" italicized)</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">I love Satire. Yes, it can be painful when it hits close to home, but is helpful in exposing and starting discussion on issues that need attention and/or correction. Get ready, this humorous satirical look at Youth Ministry is a <i>toe stomper</i>.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: black;"> </span><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FpqcskIn2O8">The Top 15 Youth Group Cliches</a></div>
<br />
<img height="224" src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/FpqcskIn2O8/mqdefault.jpg" width="400" /><br />
<br />
Awesome!<br />
<br />
Perhaps <i>OUCH,</i> but awesome!<br />
<br />
This satirical look at Youth Ministry can remind us of couple of things as we jump into Fall Ministry Season. <br />
<br />
<b>The Authenticity, Motivation and Theological Purpose of Student Ministry programs are and will continue to be scrutinized by teenagers.</b> Teenagers are seeking authentic engagement with the adult community of faith. Yes, they want to have fun and build great relationships in a safe environment, but they need Jesus. Don't substitute the deep, radical, life changing call of Discipleship to follow Jesus with an invitation to a christian-based social club. The numbers make us feel good, but they know the difference and so should we. <br />
<br />
<b>Teenagers don't want to be "talked down TO" they want to be "Invited to follow WITH." </b>Student leaders, if not careful, can reduce the radical call of the Gospel into a sin management plan (Dallas Willard had a lot of great things to say about this). The Gospel is Jesus and Discipleship, at its core, involves a commitment to follow Jesus. More than a <i>good talking down to</i> about their moral depravity and need for a savior (I am pretty sure they know the need), they desire an invitation to join other believers who know the cost and reward of following Jesus. <br />
<br />
Happy Fall Planning! <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />David Frazehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12934662870785750322noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-354919627089640224.post-5122442433487790982014-07-02T16:50:00.002-05:002014-07-02T16:54:18.086-05:00A Seriously Playful Week of Camp<div style="text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4dG7268m2g602OURMfFx-M_dpd5hJauYLuMFKlhwuAoeDOAZwAw6P9Rt8ivyFYPidYgKS4x1ist6Ei3hoxdblDbqBSCdzv6Ji8LXV_cIyTR9eTijZb9zZfcs2JBjDE0ZwTx2IIIuhEUR1/s1600/photo+2.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4dG7268m2g602OURMfFx-M_dpd5hJauYLuMFKlhwuAoeDOAZwAw6P9Rt8ivyFYPidYgKS4x1ist6Ei3hoxdblDbqBSCdzv6Ji8LXV_cIyTR9eTijZb9zZfcs2JBjDE0ZwTx2IIIuhEUR1/s1600/photo+2.jpeg" height="320" width="240" /></a><i><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"> </span></i><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">(In front of the selection panel on our ICE CREAM TRUCK!)</span><i><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"> </span></i><br />
<br />
<br />
<i><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"> Jesus called
a little child to him, and placed the child among them.<sup> </sup>And
he said: “Truly I tell you, <span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">unless you
change and become like little children</span>, you will never enter the kingdom of
heaven. Therefore, whoever <span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">takes the lowly position of this child</span> is the greatest in the
kingdom of heaven. And <span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">whoever
welcomes one such child </span>in my name welcomes me. -</span></i><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">Jesus (Matthew 18:2ff)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">"<i>This is the most fun I have had since I was 5 or 7</i>!" These were the words spoken by a high school student </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">last week </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">at a summer camp. What's the big deal? He was serious. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">It appears that </span>scholars <span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">(Elkind, Clark, Hirsch, and others) are right. The world in which we live is squeezing the life out of our students. Much of what they do is judged, critiqued and then shipped back to them for improvement. <i>Everything</i> (their words not mine) is a competition. Last week, at a magical place called <i><b>Pine Springs Summer Camp</b></i>, we stopped the competition, critique and shipping and replaced them with play, creativity and worship. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">The result?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">Our students (and adults) discovered or rediscovered what it looks like to have a child like faith in Jesus. It was awesome and life changing! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">Why spend a week exploring child like faith? Read these words from Robert Capon:</span></div>
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astonishment. The most critical issue facing Christianity is not abortion,
pornography, the disintegration of the family, moral absolutes, MTV, Drugs,
racism, sexuality, or school prayer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
critical issue today is dullness. We have lost our astonishment. The Good News
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changing, it is life enhancing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Jesus
doesn’t change people into wild-eyed radicals anymore, He changes them into
“nice people.” (</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">Episcopal priest Robert
Capon </span>used by Yaconelli in <i>Dangerous Wonder</i>)</span></div>
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<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">This past week, dullness was attacked and wonder pursued and nice people challenged to be radicals for the Kingdom of God! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">It was a <i>Seriously Playful Week of Camp</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">Check out all the fun!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><a href="http://vimeo.com/99398431">PINE SPRINGS 14</a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"> </span>
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David Frazehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12934662870785750322noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-354919627089640224.post-74198839024315566792014-06-12T17:01:00.001-05:002014-06-12T17:01:17.888-05:00If today where your last ...?<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="text Jas-4-14" id="en-NIV-30352">"<i>Why, you do not even know
what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that
appears for a little while and then vanishes.</i>" -James 4:14</span></div>
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<br />
<span class="text Jas-4-14" id="en-NIV-30352">When my wife Lisa and I received her original cancer diagnosis we did what came natural. Understanding we would get both qualified and unqualified opinions, we got on the web and researched all the information we could find on her particular diagnosed cancer type (we found out later this is not necessarily the best thing to do). It is a sobering experience reading treatment options and corresponding <i>mortality rates. </i>Even though we attempted to practice, to the best of our ability, the wise suggestion to take "every negative thought captive" (that would included <i>mortality rate</i> statistics), there were moments when the reality of life's <i>mist </i>nature hit home. </span><br />
<br />
<span class="text Jas-4-14" id="en-NIV-30352">"I may not be here for Shelbee's graduation." </span><br />
<span class="text Jas-4-14" id="en-NIV-30352"> </span><span class="text Jas-4-14" id="en-NIV-30352"> </span><br />
<span class="text Jas-4-14" id="en-NIV-30352">Tears filled my eyes as I listened to my wife speak these words and then watched her silently and somberly consider the words she had just spoken. We were on our way to another doctor appointment and the seriousness of our situation was particularly heavy. After a moment, we acknowledge the possibility, captured it (gave it to the Lord in prayer) and went on to another topic. </span><br />
<br />
<span class="text Jas-4-14" id="en-NIV-30352">To be clear, my wife was not expressing a lack of faith or focusing on morbid outcomes, she was articulating a reality we have faced many times in our marriage and ministry together. </span><br /><span class="text Jas-4-14" id="en-NIV-30352">Life is a gift of unpredictable length. Therefore, the most should be made of every day! </span><br />
<br />
<span class="text Jas-4-14" id="en-NIV-30352"><b>Truth: One's unavoidable future reality (death) has incredible power to impact one's present reality. </b></span><br />
<br />
<span class="text Jas-4-14" id="en-NIV-30352">Whether young or old, ask yourself this question, "<i>If today where your last day, what would you do</i>?"</span><br />
<span class="text Jas-4-14" id="en-NIV-30352">Would you... </span><br />
<ul>
<li><span class="text Jas-4-14" id="en-NIV-30352">...spend all day with family and friends?</span></li>
<li><span class="text Jas-4-14" id="en-NIV-30352">...share <i>those</i> words?</span></li>
<li><span class="text Jas-4-14" id="en-NIV-30352">...have <i>that </i>conversation?</span><span class="text Jas-4-14" id="en-NIV-30352"> </span></li>
<li><span class="text Jas-4-14" id="en-NIV-30352">...ask for or offer forgiveness?</span></li>
<li><span class="text Jas-4-14" id="en-NIV-30352">...get your life right with the God?</span><span class="text Jas-4-14" id="en-NIV-30352"> </span></li>
</ul>
<span class="text Jas-4-14" id="en-NIV-30352">Reach down and feel for a pulse. </span><br />
<span class="text Jas-4-14" id="en-NIV-30352"><br /></span>
<span class="text Jas-4-14" id="en-NIV-30352">Do you have one? Good.</span><span class="text Jas-4-14" id="en-NIV-30352"> </span><br />
<br />
<span class="text Jas-4-14" id="en-NIV-30352">Now, let your future reality impact your present reality! </span>David Frazehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12934662870785750322noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-354919627089640224.post-79305704875263697052014-06-07T16:42:00.000-05:002014-06-07T16:57:28.417-05:00Cancer/No Cancer Experience: Lesson #1<br />
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The first time I had to "pull" a book back so I could read the words on the page created an interesting reaction (for younger blog readers, it is rather humbling experience). The blurred reading episode shouted, "you are getting older and your existence will require assistance and will be different from this point on!"<br />
<br />
Our journey with <i>Cancer/Not Cancer</i> was one of those "pull" back experiences that shouted "Life requires assistance and will be different from this point on." In the next few blogs, I will attempt to share each of the "pull" back occasions in order to highlight a few that may impact your journey through life as well.<br />
<br />
"<i>Even if you don't need anything, let people do something for you and your family</i>" were the words spoken by a dear friend (whose wife is a cancer survivor) at the beginning of our journey. Even though, like most, we are more comfortable being on the helping others end, Lisa and I have been appreciative of the support and comfort we have received from friends and family. Even so, we were not prepared for the level of <i>extravagance</i> poured out on our family.<br />
<br />
We received gifts of<br />
...prayer<br />
...gift cards<br />
...house cleaning<br />
...visits<br />
...flowers<br />
...food<br />
...technology support <br />
...cards<br />
...kid taxi <br />
...emails<br />
...medical consult<br />
...advice on treatment <br />
...texts<br />
...tweets<br />
...phone calls<br />
...again, a lot of prayer<br />
<br />
<i>Our existence indeed required assistance</i> from others. We are so thankful and blown away by the overwhelming amount of support received over the last few weeks. <br />
<br />
<i>Extravagance </i>is the word Lisa and I use to describe our experience of gift receiving. And the recieving left us with two, <i>won't go away</i>, questions and one resolution that has impacted and continues to impact the future direction of our family. <br />
<br />
<b>Question#1</b>: <b>Are we living a fiscally responsible lifestyle that supports <i>extravagant </i>giving?</b> Yes, we can and will continue to give our tithe, our resources and time, but the key word here is extravagant. We are wanting to keep our <i>giving to receiving ratio</i> in balance. We want any imbalance to be on the giving side. <br />
<br />
<b>Question #2: Are we living a fiscally responsible lifestyle that supports <i>extravagant </i>moments with family? </b>We take vacations and have family time, but there were moments in our "pull" back that I really wanted to pack up the family and "refresh" for a day or two. However, our financial responsibilities have a lot of our money committed before it is spent (I realize many of you reading this often find themselves in the same boat). I did not like that feeling. <br />
<br />
<b>Resolution: We will explore and courageously make fiscal responsibilities adjustments in order to give and live <i>extravagantly</i>. </b><br />
<br />
After the "pull" back book moment, I went to the eye doctor expecting to get a prescription for contacts/glasses. What I received was a "reader" prescription (actually, my doctor told me to go to a pharmacy and pick up a few pairs to throw around the home and office). I was ready for a full blown contact/glasses prescription to find I only needed "readers." My<i> existence with the assistance</i> of readers gives me the ability to read books without the "pull" back and it is awesome! <br />
<br />
I have no idea, at this point, what level of correction to our fiscal vision these questions and our resolution will call for. Regardless, we know <i>something</i> will be different. We are seeing things real clear these days.<br />
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<br />David Frazehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12934662870785750322noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-354919627089640224.post-16715147446185711492014-05-30T12:15:00.001-05:002014-05-30T14:33:41.141-05:00Cancer Free!<b>How do you write about the events of the past few days?</b> <b><span style="color: red;">Caution: </span>This will be a long blog.</b><br />
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We were prayerfully ready for surgery--really prayerful!<br />
<br />
The morning of May 28th began with last minute check of responsibilities, plans for the kids, paperwork and items to make an extended hospital stay comfortable. The long ride was memorable and emotional. We listened to Lisa's playlist (emotional in and of itself-check it out on <i>Spotify</i>-my wife's faith inspires me!), spoke "those" private, eternal words and while viewing the hospital that would be our home for a few days, shared prayer at a stop light. With tears dry and hearts protected by the knowledge of prayer warriors surrounding us, we started through the pre-op routine.<br />
<br />
Clothes switched to "the" gown.<br />
Vitals checked.<br />
IV Inserted.<br />
Doctors and nurses asking questions and asking for any questions.<br />
Friends Surrounding (awesome scene. The room was filled with a crowd of people ready to pray Lisa into surgery. A crowd the front desk referred to as the "party room.").<br />
The time was 11:45 a.m.<br />
They would take Lisa back in 15 minutes for a surgery that was predicted to take no less than 2.5 hours.<br />
Then a phone call.<br />
<br />
Let me pause the action to take us back through the events that brought Lisa to this pre-op room (very concise bullet points used).<br />
<ul>
<li>Lisa has an appendectomy.</li>
<li>Pathology revealed the ruptured appendix was due to appendiceal cancer.</li>
<li>The doctor appointments began.</li>
<li>Incredible doors where opened to some of the finest doctors in the DFW area. </li>
<li>The course of treatment was decided.</li>
<li>Surgery with Internal Chemo-the standard for Lisa's cancer.</li>
<li>Great doctor, great hospital, great staff, date of surgery set.</li>
<li><i>Caring Bridge </i>activated and support plan in place.</li>
<li>Last post written on May 27th. <b>Here it is</b>: </li>
</ul>
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}">Hello Friends,<br />
Tomorrow is the big day! Lisa’s surgery is scheduled to begin at 12
noon. As always, we know and are confident that the Lord goes before us
in this surgery and that this journey through cancer did not catch him
off guard. We ask that you remember the following things in prayer:</span><br />
<ul>
<li><span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"> That the surgery be filled with great “surprises” of healing that only the Lord could receive credit.<span class="text_exposed_show"> </span></span></li>
<li><span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="text_exposed_show">That the recovery will be quick and with as little discomfort as possible.</span></span></li>
<li><span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="text_exposed_show">That Braeden and Shelbee be strengthened and comforted as their mom is in the hospital.</span></span></li>
<li><span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="text_exposed_show"></span></span>That I will serve my wife and children with great energy, passion and be a source of comfort for each of them.</li>
<li>That our journey will not be wasted as we press in close to the Father and develop greater character.</li>
<li>That the Lord be glorified in our family’s response to this journey</li>
</ul>
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><span class="text_exposed_show"> Again, thank you all for your love, patience and practical outpouring of love and support. We are indeed a blessed family. <br /> <br />
<i>We continue to shout our praise even when we’re hemmed in with
troubles, because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience
in us, and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of
virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next. In alert
expectancy such as this, we’re never left feeling shortchanged. Quite
the contrary—we can’t round up enough containers to hold everything God
generously pours into our lives through the Holy Spirit! </i>-Romans 5:3
(The MSG)</span></span><br />
<br />
So, back to the pre-op room, May 28th, 11:45 a.m. and the phone call.<br />
<br />
At 11:55 a.m. (minutes before Lisa is set to receive the anesthesia "cock-tail") the doctor comes into the room, dismisses the crowd (<i>party</i>) and asks to speak to Lisa and I privately. He begins with "I just got a call from Pathology"(who had been feverishly trying to get a hold of him all morning-he was in surgery). Now, considering Lisa's track record with health issues, we both expected the worst. Then, with a smile (he said he was not use to giving good news) he informed us that there would be no surgery! His pathologist (verifying the findings of another pathologists on his team) said that cancer did not destroy the appendix it was endometriosis and to stop the surgery! <br />
<br />
Lisa and I were both stunned and asked, "So, what do we do now?" After the usual "technical stuff" he suggested she get dressed, go have lunch and celebrate! So we did!<br />
<br />
<b>Wow!</b><br />
<br />
We are still trying to process the events of the last few days! An event that will lead to a few <i>what we have learned </i>posts I am certain. In short, we are <b>thankful,</b> <b>amazed </b>and <b>give the Lord praise </b>for answered prayer!<br />
<b><br /></b>
So, here it comes...<br />
Was the original diagnosis wrong?<br />
Did the Lord change the pathology?<br />
Did the Lord lead you to the correct doctors to see the correct diagnosis? <br />
Did...?<br />
<b>I have no clue!</b><br />
<br />
Let me use the words of the man, formerly known as the <i>blind man, </i>in John 9. When people where questioning him about how he received back his sight, the man said, <span class="text John-9-25" id="en-NIV-26466">"<i>One thing I do know. I was blind but now I see</i>!” </span><br />
<br />
<span class="text John-9-25" id="en-NIV-26466">Here is what Lisa and I can say, "One thing we know, she was told she had cancer and was having surgery and the diagnosis <b>changed</b>." </span><span class="text John-9-25" id="en-NIV-26466">In dramatic, 11th hour, glory giving/attracting, "surprise filled" (Check the above prayer requests again--amazing!) fashion. </span><span class="text John-9-25" id="en-NIV-26466"> </span><br />
<span class="text John-9-25" id="en-NIV-26466">The Father not only answered the prayer.</span><span class="text John-9-25" id="en-NIV-26466"> </span><br />
<span class="text John-9-25" id="en-NIV-26466">He answered the prayer and <i>dropped the mic</i>!</span><br />
<span class="text John-9-25" id="en-NIV-26466"><br /></span>
<b><span class="text John-9-25" id="en-NIV-26466">PRAISE GOD! </span></b><br />
<br />
<b><span style="color: red;"><span class="text John-9-25" id="en-NIV-26466">Let me be crystal clear</span></span><span class="text John-9-25" id="en-NIV-26466"><span style="color: red;">! </span> (emphasis added by Lisa's request and my solid agreement)</span></b><br />
God is good all the time! His goodness would have remained if deliverance from surgery had not come or had resulted in death. I am not wanting to sound dramatic but affirming the words of a friend who said, "God always gives his people a <i>yes</i>!" This time, the Father 's "Yes" lined up with our "yes."<br />
<br />
As we drove home (after getting Lisa lunch) here is the song from her playlist that caught our attention and created a thin-silence, tear filled, speechless moment. Enjoy! (If the video does not appear, here is the link <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q24z4XcJxnM">Whom Shall I Fear</a>)<br />
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By the way, if you don't know the God of Angel Armies, we would love to tell you about Him! He was and continues to be <i>by our side</i>!<br />
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<br />David Frazehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12934662870785750322noreply@blogger.com25tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-354919627089640224.post-61358730187055741032014-05-22T17:46:00.000-05:002014-05-22T17:46:33.720-05:00Parent Goggles<br />
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<br />
"Dad, you are wearing <i>Parent Goggles</i>!"<br />
<br />
I have heard<b> a lot</b> of strange and interesting words fly out of the mouths of teenagers, but this one left me a little confused. <br />
<br />
I was complimenting my son on, what I thought, was a job well done on an classroom assignment. That is what parents do. Right? <br />
Adults encourage students with positive words of affirmation. Right?<br />
Parents make sure their son or daughter know that you recognize their "special" achievements. Right? <br />
But when I complimented my son, he accused me of wearing <i>Parent Goggles</i>. What?<br />
Here is what I learned from the obvious request for a definition and explanation.<br />
<br />
<i>Parent Goggles</i> is a term used to describe a parent's or adult's over exaggerated compliment of a student's ability. For instance, a parent who says, "My son is an outstanding basketball player" when their son is riding the pine on the B-Team is wearing <i>parent goggles</i>. I am glad I could say to my son, that as far as I know (we all have blind spots I admitted), I have never provided a compliment via <i>Parent Goggles</i> and that his level of achievement I praised was due to his own effort. This led to an honest discussion of what I saw as his current state of ability regarding the various activities in which he is involved (don't judge-he wanted to know). And you know what? <b>He liked</b> the honest dialogue. <br />
<br />
I believe the term<i> Parent Goggles </i>developed out of student reaction to the "everyone is special" culture (check out my last blog on that <i>special</i> word). A culture, I argue, students' have always been able to see through and rebel against. <br />
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So...is the term <i>parent goggles</i> suggesting that adults <b>not </b>use positive words, compliment, or recognize a student's achievement? No! <br />
The term is suggesting that parents and adults be more realistic in recognizing and highlighting their student's abilities and achievements. They may not say it, but students (and adults for that matter) need honest feedback, direction and encouragement!<br />
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<br />David Frazehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12934662870785750322noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-354919627089640224.post-45931574275048856852014-05-14T21:10:00.002-05:002014-05-14T21:50:16.254-05:00"You are not special!" and other truths our students need to hear!<br />
Let me make an uncomfortable observation.<br />
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One of my favorite scenes in the Disney classic <i>The Incredibles</i> is the discussion Dash has with his mom about being <i>special</i>. <br />
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Why is it one of my favorites?<br />
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Dash's mom, in an attempt to "settle" his desire to be involved with student activities and hide his <i>incredible</i> abilities says, "Everyone is <i>special </i>Dash" To which Dash responds, "which is another way of saying 'no one is.'" <br />
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For as long as I have been involved in cultural studies, I have heard and read people bashing <i>Disney </i>for their "devious and hidden sexual content" messages in their animated films. I find such allegations interesting, sometimes easy to see and always entertaining. I am not sure <i>Disney</i> peeps sit around and think of where they can "hide" profound and cultural influencing, reflecting content in their films. I am more interested in the<b> obvious</b> cultural messages. This conversation Dash is having with his mom is a true window into today's, highly competitive, I-have-an-honor-student-sticker toting, trophy-handing-out culture.<br />
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When did we get the idea that everybody is <i>special</i>?<br />
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Before you stop reading, let me clarify.<br />
Indeed, we are all <i>special</i> in terms of our value as a person. A message that should be trumpeted from every adult and placed deep inside the heart of <b>every</b> student (and adult for that matter) is that every person is deeply loved for who they are and <b>not </b>because of what they do! <br />
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Our culture communicates a much different message. A message that leaves people believing their worth (ability to be special and/or loved) is determined by what they do and how well they do it. Therefore, Culture's attempt at correcting such an obvious injustice is to make everybody's "what they do and how well they do it" <i>special</i> (you may want to read those last two sentences again-they fly by really fast).<br />
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"What is the problem with that?" you ask.<br />
A person's value is <b>still</b> being placed on performance. And, like Dash, our student's soon realize that in a world where everyone's performance is <i>special</i>, no one's performance is truly <i>special</i>! Therefore, the <b>natural process</b> (interest, attempt, success/failure) of a student discovering their own, unique and <i>special </i>abilities is lost.<br />
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Hey adults, our student's know the truth. They know...<br />
...not everyone gets to be on the "A" team and/or be a starter.<br />
...not everyone gets to sit in 1st chair.<br />
...not everyone can make the cheerleader squad. <br />
...not everyone can sing a high "C."<br />
...not everyone makes the honor roll.<br />
...not everyone wins the literary contest.<br />
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They know they are not <i><b>special</b></i> in everything and that is alright! Actually, they need to hear that more often. I am convinced the one's who are often not "alright" with this truth are we adults. Perhaps, the entitlement problem we say teenagers have is actually our problem. <br />
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<br />David Frazehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12934662870785750322noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-354919627089640224.post-11316612956972605852014-05-07T19:06:00.001-05:002014-05-08T10:32:52.091-05:00People Watching <img class="rg_i" data-src="https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRNXcEYRrA0lJ-jDBgf_BIwFsFKUxxnr53uLUiHNRxTSSZnidoVUw" data-sz="f" name="wQLoex8kwqz18M:" src="https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRNXcEYRrA0lJ-jDBgf_BIwFsFKUxxnr53uLUiHNRxTSSZnidoVUw" style="height: 162px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; width: 311px;" /><br />
After one of many appointments, Lisa and I were getting lunch in downtown Dallas.<br />
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It is one of the very special things we do these days. We pray, talk, laugh, tear up at times and, almost always, start <i>People Watching. People Watching</i> is like bird watching but a lot more fun. Like bird watching, you do not want to spook the subject by revealing your "watching." To clarify, <i>People Watching</i> should not be confused with stalking--that is just weird. Nor should it be conducted in order to validate a bias, position and/or person's value. Done correctly, <i>People Watching </i>helps one appreciate the beauty, uniqueness and value of each individual person. That was the case in downtown Dallas.<br />
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My wife and I selected a table next to a large set of windows. It was an ideal <i>People Watching </i>position. We saw some beautiful, unique and valuable people. <br />
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We saw a street saxophone player (he was doing pretty well with his tips).<br />
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We saw cowboys (various hats and boots)<br />
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We saw business people (casual and suited up).<br />
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We saw students (you can tell by their back packs).<br />
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We saw homeless people (you can tell by their back packs as well).<br />
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We saw tourists (too many identifiers to mention).<br />
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We saw police officers (on horse back and scooters). <br />
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We saw ourselves (glass reflects images).<br />
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It was an awesome time of <i>People Watching</i>. I leaned over to Lisa and said, "I wonder if all of these people have families or those who care for them." We concluded, that regardless of their situation, <b>each of them needed to be loved by someone</b>. Then, in a moment of clarity (which often comes with genuine <i>People Watching</i>) we agreed that, at it's core, this is the message of the Gospel and the point of ministry. Jesus put it this way,<br />
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"<i><span class="text Matt-22-37" id="en-NIV-23910"><span class="woj">Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.<sup> </sup></span></span><span class="text Matt-22-38" id="en-NIV-23911"><span class="woj">This is the first and greatest commandment.</span></span> <span class="text Matt-22-39" id="en-NIV-23912"><span class="woj">And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’</span></span></i><span class="text Matt-22-40" id="en-NIV-23913"><span class="woj"><i><sup class="versenum"> </sup>All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments</i>.”-Matt 22:37ff</span></span><br />
<span class="text Matt-22-40" id="en-NIV-23913"><span class="woj"><br /></span></span>
<span class="text Matt-22-40" id="en-NIV-23913"><span class="woj">The thought I am about to leave you with is not necessarily a criticism of the way we "do church" in America (unless you need the prophetic correction). However, it is a thought that draws our first fruit efforts and focus on that which I am convinced was the first fruit effort and focus of Jesus--people!</span></span><br />
<span class="text Matt-22-40" id="en-NIV-23913"><span class="woj">It is a challenge that comes from a lifetime of ministry experience and a lot of time with those "outside" the walls of our church whom we would love to have come "inside" the walls. Here comes the thought:</span></span><br />
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<span class="text Matt-22-40" id="en-NIV-23913"><span class="woj">What has the power, to bring a person "inside" the walls of churches? </span></span><span class="text Matt-22-40" id="en-NIV-23913"><span class="woj"> </span></span><br />
<span class="text Matt-22-40" id="en-NIV-23913"><span class="woj">I know that cool paint, signage, songs, lights and comfortable pews have a certain value but <b>NONE</b> have the power, nor can replace, the impact of a Jesus follower who loves the Lord <b>and their neighbor</b>. </span></span><br />
<span class="text Matt-22-40" id="en-NIV-23913"><span class="woj"><br /></span></span>
<span class="text Matt-22-40" id="en-NIV-23913"><span class="woj">Church leaders/members, where are we placing our first fruit efforts and focus?</span></span><br />
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<span class="text Matt-22-40" id="en-NIV-23913"><span class="woj"><br /></span></span>
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<span class="text Matt-22-40" id="en-NIV-23913"><span class="woj"><br /></span></span>
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<br />David Frazehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12934662870785750322noreply@blogger.com2