The Dirty Secret Church Leaders May Want to Hide

What's the Dirty Secret?

Minister, you are not the most important element in your church member's spiritual formation.   As a matter of fact, you are probably not the most important reason people will be in your assembly this weekend.

Ouch!

I was visiting with a friend of mine last week and he said, almost apologetically, "Honestly, I get much more out of the group, morning bible study time than the sermon on Sunday morning."

He nervously talked about the great sermons he is privelaged to hear from his preacher every week, but quickly went back to the value his "group" of friends play in his spiritual formation. Why?

They know him (good and bad)
They speak into him (blessing and challenge)
They have spent time with him (joy and suffering)
They authentically care (time and...well...um...time)

Honestly, I was not surprised at my friends' priority.

It has been my experience, professionally and personally, that the greatest influencer of spiritual growth, positively or negatively, are the relationships we choose to be a part.  I have heard a lot of great lessons from the pulpit and currently blessed to hear one of the greatest preachers of my life time every week, Rick Atchley.  Still, the effect of key relationships on my spiritual journey trumps all that great teaching.  I could drop in a whole lot of research from the Fuller Youth Institute and other great organizations to further support this truth.  However, I am certain most minister's know this truth and should use their public platform to not only give life changing information but leverage their position to encourage the type of community my friend was describing in our conversation.

Why did my friend feel like he was being "offensive" when speaking his heart?

Why do some minister's act like the greatest spiritual formation takes place when they are on the stage?

Why do Church leaders want to hide the Secret?  Is it:

Insecurity?
Pride?
Comfort?
Controlable?

I am certain, because I have experienced each of these, they all play a role.

In my opinion, the key reason the man was uncomfortable sharing, why minister's struggle to keep their role in the body in prospective and why Church leaders want to hide the Secret is found in the way church leaders measure ministry effectiveness.

They are important, but church leaders place a lot of significance on numbers and budget.  Again, both are strong indicators that a spiritual marker is being achieved.  Even so, when a minister feels the pressure to deliver the numbers and budget, he or she can begin to rely too heavily on their own ability to generate such growth that they lose focus on the necessity for members to build relationships with other believers "outside" assembly time(s). Insecurity, pride, comfort and control raise their ugly head in a minister's life leading to burn out and/or disenchantment with the way the institutional-business side of church functions.  It makes sense that church leaders question and challenge a minister when the numbers and budget drop.  However, the dirty secret highlights the problem may not rest on the quality of the "stage" performance but the quality of relationships within the church body.  In other words, numeric and budget growth issues are not always the minister's fault.

While experiencing the pull to attribute too much credibility to the "stage" of ministry performance, I have been blessed beyond measure in working with leadership groups that strive to look beyond the numbers and budget in determining ministry success.  In each case, the leadership had to first come to the realization that the weekend or gathering stage event was important enough to deliver at the highest of quality but did not possess the power to develop long term discipleship formation.  I am sure it came from some "small group church" based minister, let's say Andy Stanley (He's a popular minister who understands the dirty secret), the simple, yet profound truth that "spiritual growth best occurs in circles not rows."  

Crazy thing, it has been my observation that once a minister embraces the dirty secret of spiritual growth and lowers the importance of their "stage" performance, the Lord actually increases the effectiveness and draw of their "stage" ministry (the least will become greatest, last to first words of Jesus echo in the ears of such leaders).  

Here are a few action steps ministers and other church leaders can take with the knowledge of this Dirty Secret :

• Embrace the truth that you or your minister is not the most important element in your church member's spiritual formation.  Here is a hard truth we minister's need to remember. More than likely, even though "churched" people may have heard of your ability to preach or teach, the "un-churched" visitor sitting in your assembly is there because someone they knew invited them.  Ouch!  Your ability to communicate was an added bonus to their visiting your gathering.     
• Find ways to measure ministry effectiveness beyond the easy to identify numbers and budget.  Numbers and budget do not necessarily equate with fruit of the spirit growth! My friend is able to measure the effectiveness of his bible study accurately because of time and involvement with these people.    When we count numbers and budget in the typical ushers with clipboard fashion we may feel good about the 500 attendees that attend ever weekend. But they are probably not the same people every week!  We don't know who is in our assemblies.  We need to start looking at growth longitudinally.  This is a fancy word for "over time."  There are great church management programs that help church leaders track a person from the parking lot to conversion to worship participation to service to giving.... These programs have the ability to track over time and keep the overall number and budget counts in proper context.  Even so, the greatest accounting program is people in meaningful relationship! People notice when the people they are living life with are missing.  Therefore, the third action step.  Before we leave this action step, I believe the greatest way to evaluate ministry effectiveness is through story.  Ask for and share stories that illustrate ministry is happening in your church family!  Stories inspire and focus ministry. 
• Provide opportunity for relationship building in your church community.  Depending on your context determine what best suits your church member's needs for "circle" type relationship building.  Leaders have to determine how to provide and support environments where relational safety and vulnerability occurs while also providing relationship building opportunities where those outside the church walls and new members feel welcome and wanted.  This is difficult work. Classes, Small Groups, Classes with Small Groups are all options in the appropriate settings for this to happen.  A word of caution.  Please do not simply copy another church's programming without first examining your own ministry context. This could lead to lots of trouble.  

Lesson Learned at the Dirk vs LeBron Showdown

Sitting in a loaded stadium watching the Dirk's Dallas Mavs play LeBron's Cleveland Cavs-awesome! Lots of energy and "celebrity" watching

I have been watching pro sports for a while now and have never made the Big Screen.  Well, last night I MADE IT.  Well...sort of.  Look closely. I am in the grey pull over appearing right above the head of the young man reaching for the camera.   The man next to me, their dad and great friend of mine, snapped the picture you see below.



As you can see, the seats and camera crew where way up there.  Certainly a cool pic and great memory from a great game. The moment came and it was gone.  Even though I coaxed the guys to try different things to attract the cameras attention (I could not help myself-I may or may not have challenged them to take their shirts off and wave them), the moment was over.
The event drew my attention towards the Big Screen for the rest of the night as I watched what people would do and how they would do it to get their seconds of fame.  Here is what I learned from my people-watching extravaganza.

People want to be seen.  My favorite screen moments where created by people who did not realize they where on screen.  The person next to them nudged them into looking up to the screen.  Then the magic happened.  Smiles, dancing (sometimes innapropriate), kisses, hugging and overall this is my moment behavior.  Really, people do crazy things to be seen.

Seen people bring energy.  When the game went into OT (again, great game) the camera caught one young Mav Fan who in turn grabbed the attention of the entire American Airlines Arena. The camera gave him much more than 5 seconds.  They used his passion to amp up the entire place.  He pumped his hands, beat his chest and begin to yell at the top of his lungs-the crowd responded. The kid who was seen changed the energy of the entire arena. I am certain that this young fan felt directly connected to and impacting a truly great sports moment.

Zacchaeus.

Nathanael.

The "Blind Man."

The woman "at the Well."

The woman with "the Issue of Blood."

The man with "a Legion of Demons."

Are a short list of people in the Gospel Story who wanted to be seen, where seen by Jesus and changed the energy of entire crowds.

Let's remember that our students (and those we engage with every day in the stores, coffee shops, gyms and places we frequent) desperately want to be seen.  That's why some do crazy things to stand out.  They want to feel a part of something bigger than themselves.  They want to be noticed.

As youth workers, we spend a lot of time being seen by those we are ministering to and with.  If you want to change the energy in your student ministry, start by focussing on the answer that is right before your eyes-the students and adult volunteers the Lord has placed before you.

Place the Big Screen attention you posses as a leader on them and watch the energy rise in them and your ministry.

Oh, your first notion may be to focus on the "franchised" students and adults.  They are easier and give you more in return right?  Wrong.  My advice, don't ignore those, but focus on students and adults who rarely get the Big Screen shot.  That's what Jesus did and it worked out pretty good.

Here is a closing observation.  One of the celebrities we watched (through the binoculars) was Mark Cuban.  It was cool to watch his passion for his team and game.  Even so, the one who stole the show and brought the energy to the Arena?

That young Mav fan-Just sayin'! Seen People Bring Energy!

Observations from a Social Media Addict

"Hello, my name is David and I am a social media addict!" 

I have discovered this truth while in my recent Social Media Fast adventure.  Many times over the last few weeks, I have reached for and/or wanted to check my status, likes/dislikes, comments and messages.  Hopefully, as I have trickled back on the "social media juice," I have learned a few things. 

I have sorta ended my Social Media Fast.  I say sorta because I have established a few rules to better use the ol' social media in hopes that I do not let it consume too much of my time.  There is much I have observed and many lessons learned during my fast.  Here are a few that top my observations-lessons learned list:

• We, not just teenagers, are way too involved with social media.  I really don't believe I have to unpack my observation.  Seriously, I can track several of my "friends" days from breakfast, lunch, supper,  date nights and love life (I know--ew) by reading their facebook and/or twitter updates.  My fast brought to light how many times I have often missed a present, never to be repeated moment because I had to tweet and post the event out to the world.  Or, I am missing a present, never to be repeated moment because I am responding to a tweet or post from someone else's life.
• People really did not miss my presence on social media & I lost NO FRIENDS during my fast (Actually, I may have deepened a few of my friendships during this period of time because I had to old school text, talk on the phone and have face to face conversations). Hard truth, people are not waiting to hear and see what I have to post.  "What?"  "I love your posts Dave!"  "They inspire me!"  I am grateful that many of you like to read the material I post.  However, I am certain you found other inspiring material to read while I was away.  Point, we should not take our cyber presence so serious.  Hard fact, their will always be someone to take our place in the ocean of social media.
• I am a much better husband, dad and friend without social media participation.  Why?  I was removed from the comparison, competition, consumerism and corresponding drama often created by social media participation.  It is amazing how much better I relate to others when I only have my present reality and context to draw from.

Here are some rules I am putting in place to better use and not abuse social media.

• Turn off Social Media alerts.   This allows me to check social media information when I want to and not respond (like Pavlov's dog) when I hear a "ding" or other notification sound.  Test, if you have ever reached for your phone when you heard a familiar "ding" or notification sound only to realize it was the person's phone next to you, you may want to turn off those alerts.
• Turn off your social media when in the presence of spouse, family and friends.  Sure, pictures and videos are fun-capture those memories; but, wait to post!  DON'T loose the moment! 
• Stop rationalizing and accept accountability. Someone will or has let you know when you are way too into social media. Listen to them and accept their correction.  My wonderful and wise wife has spoken this truth into me countless times and let me know that my social media consumption was out of control!  We all need to listen and respond to those who are trying to tell us something.  Oh, I have seen where fellow social media "junkies" tell other "junkies" to ignore the accountability and rationalize the over usage of social media-That's called co-dependence folks!
• I will control social media and not let social media control me.  To be clear, social media is important and real social contact takes place in this location. So, I will continue to take periodic fasts from and control my participation in this powerful, cultural medium.  

I hope these few observations, lessons and rules help your social media consumption.  Now, stop reading and tweet and post this blog to the world.  Oh wait...let the present reality of this blog hit home and post later (when you are not around your spouse, family and friends). 

Don't Get Worked!

I come across all types of messages, pictures and conversations while perusing (I have been waiting to use this cool word) social media sites.  The picture below is a dandy and highlights a way too common failure in parenting.

Staged?  Certainly (at least I hope so).

Exaggerated?  Certainly (at least I hope so).

Truth?  Certainly (I know so).

Kids of any age, especially teenagers, will look for ways to get what they want.  They will ask one parent and then ask the other if the answer they receive from the first is not the answer they wanted (read that sentence again).  While every home experiences this common kid/student practice, homes that are blended, single-parent, separated, grandparent and/or adult guardian led can be particularly subject to being "worked" by the students in their care. 

If you are reading this and are the parent/guardian who trumps the other parent/guardian with the "yes," this is a problem.  You are not being cool, better and/or more understanding.  You are causing damage to your student's future understanding of how the real world works and actually hurting your kid.  Oh, and you are being "worked."

If you are reading this and are the parent/guardian who is being trumped by the other parent/guardian, you have a part in this "working" as well.  Is there a reason you are being trumped?  Are you allowing for dialogue with your other parent/guardian or does everything have to be done your way?  This too causes damage and impacting your student's understanding of how the real world works.

So...how can parents/guardians prevent being successfully "worked" by their kids? Here are a few suggestions:

• Check with the other parent/guardian.  It can be as easy as a phone call or text.  When asked by your student to do, buy, go, etc. something, take a moment to check with the other parent/guardian.  If there is disagreement, tell your student you will give them an answer later.  It is okay for your kid to wait for an answer.  You are the one in charge.
• Talk with the other parent/guardian before a question is given.  What are your feelings on dress, parties, music, movies, friends, etc.?  Talk about your values concerning each of these topics before your kid asks to do, buy, go, etc.
• Respect and support the opinion of the other parent/guardian.  In other words, if a student says, "Can I go...?" and you ask, "What did your mother say?"  Support your spouse/guardian.  Be on the same page. This is a particularly difficult thing to do if you are in a divorced, separated or single parent situation.  Still, it is important that both father and mother have a civil and productive conversation on what is best (yes, this can be subjective) for the student(s) you have a responsibility.  If respect and support are difficult, find a counselor or trusted adult that can mediate a civil and productive conversation so that both parents/guardians can be on the same page.

While being "worked" is a natural hazard of parenting a student, a little "work" by parents/guardians before goes a long way.

Rules for Revolution

I receive a lot of forwards and Cc-s in my inbox.  Typically, they are rushed into the trash bin.  However, there are a few forwards and Cc-s I rush to read.  This is one of those.  

In no way am I attempting to make a political statement or liken any political party's agenda with Communism.   I am sharing the following newspaper clipping from 1919 (via 1970-1975) to help all of us evaluate our 2014.  

 

Feel free to make and/or share your own observations.  I suggest reading the article through the various lenses of faith and family.  NOTE:  Even though a rich conversation starter on current political topics, I do not welcome political observations on this blog sight and/or Facebook.  

I do invite you to share observations as they relate to faith and family.  

I do encourage you to use these "Rules" as a discussion starter with Adults and Students. 

Lecture Little-Listen Lots

  

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.
- James (1:19)

What a great verse for all of us who parent or work with teenagers.  A difficult verse-but great!

Why is it difficult?

Because, like the adults who came before us, I believe I have something to say that is filled with wisdom and needs to be heard.  I no longer need to listen.  I need to engage.  

Did you catch it?  The word "I" was used 4 times in the last few sentences!   A moment of transparency-isn't this what gets most of us parents and adults into communication trouble with teenagers?  It is more about assuring that our words are heard than listening to theirs.  Pause and consider that last sentence again. 

I am not advocating a release of parental/adult authority.  I am suggesting that more listening actually enforces and/or regains authority and lowers the anger level (it is what the Bible says).  Here are a few better listening and talking (lecturing) suggestions:

• Ask Questions.  Let me start by saying this step may lead to a high frustration level rather quickly (when a student answers a question with "I don't know" or "Whatever"-you may need to read the ONE of My Parenting Flaws post again).  Still, ask leading questions of students. Questions that invite them to express their opinions, thoughts, perspective or defense first.  Questions like...
• Why would I have received an email from your teacher?
• What happened that your were late coming home last night?
• Did you know(name of friend)'s mom called me yesterday? 
• (After emotions settle) What got you so upset this morning?            

          ...provide a student with a first response opportunity.

• Let students finish their answer before you respond.  Responses naturally lead to follow up questions and need for further clarification.  Before you make a follow up move, be sure you let the student finish their answer. I know, easier said than done.  Students often spin a response and/or lie to protect themselves or friends.  Still, before the logical follow up moves, listen to their entire response.  Again, when you know the answer to the question before you ask, patience and calm is key and very difficult. 

• Set the table. If you know the conversation you are about to have with a student is going to be difficult, say so at the beginning.  Statements like... 

"We need to have a conversation about your homework (just picked a difficult topic). We have talked about this a number of times and has led to a few arguments.  I believe neither of us wish to have an argument.  So, even though it may be difficult, I want to hear what you have to say and see if we can have a calm discussion about what we can do to improve the situation."

         ...can really lower stress levels and set positive expectations for the conversation and outcomes.

• Use a "cheat sheet."  Before having a difficult conversation with your student and to assure you have your questions and information you wish to share prepared, write it down. Often, when the listening stops and the powerful "I" begins to surface,  it is because our emotions take us off script.  When this happens, the logical next step for parents/adults is to take an authoritative stance and take control.  

Communication is difficult in the best of situations.  I can tell you from personal experience that the powerful "I" reactions have surfaced on more than one occasion in my relationships with teenagers.  Don't give up.  Keep practicing those listening and talking (lecturing) skills.

"Your Parents are Wrong!"

 

"Your Parents are wrong!"  


I make this comment at least a couple times a year when speaking to students on the topic of moral decision making in the context of Discipleship (fancy word for following the example and direction of Jesus in how life should be lived).  The comment reflects a reality that parents, and surrounding adults, have the ability to negate and/or disqualify the moral directives of Jesus by the way they live their lives.  My wife Lisa and I often say, "We can not out teach what happens in the home or surrounding adult community. We are just not that good."  So, when teaching on moral decision making, the statement is a challenge for students (all of us actually) to follow the example and direction of Jesus over any authority that stands in contradiction with His lead.   Just in case you are wondering, I do not incite students to riot against authority (could be awesome but very irresponsible).  We are to honor our father, mother and those in authority over us (that is also part of discipleship-Ephesians 6; I Peter 2).  Still, as a Disciple of Jesus, his authority over our moral decision making is of first priority-we do call Him Lord of our life. So...

"What should I wear?"
"How should I speak?"
"What movie should I watch?"


"Should I do my own homework?"
"What music should I listen to?"
"How should I view authority?"
"How should I spend my time?"

are decisions that SHOULD be impacted by our commitment to follow Jesus as Lord.  Again, "Your Parents are wrong!" is not a statement derailing adult authority.  It is a statement highlighting the elephant in the room.  Adults (speaking to myself here) need to live with the weight that the way we live our lives before our students (our own and others) directly impacts the way they make moral decisions.  Check this out:

“the most persuasive moral teaching we adults do is by example: the witness of our lives, our ways of being with others and speaking to them and getting on with them—all of that taken in slowly, cumulatively, by our sons and daughters, our students.”
–Robert Coles, The Moral Intelligence of Children

Hard Reality:  Students with the very best, morally solid, examplar adults in their lives can make the worst decisions (it is all that free-will stuff).  


Harder Reality: If your student is making poor choices, the first place you should look is at the moral witness of your home and surrounding adult community.

3 Purposes of Youth Ministry

 "You get paid for going on vacation's with teenagers?"

"I wish I could have a job where I could go to the mountains for a week each summer?"

"You do 'that' for a job?"

"When are you going to get your 'own' church?" (Translation:  When are you going to "grow up" or become a "senior" minister?)

With 25 years of Youth Ministry under my belt, I have heard a lot of strange comments from people who do not totally understand what I do.

Let me insert an important note here, I have personally NEVER worked for a church that did not honor, respect and hold in high regard the role of student ministry and ministers (I realize I am very blessed).  Most of the above statements come from those outside my church context and/or individuals I cross path's with at various speaking engagements.

From the outside, it may be difficult at times to see the theological trajectory and pedagogy (I thought it would be fun to use big words) of paint ball, mud volleyball, messy games and amusement park programing of student ministers.  Therefore, I am going to share the three reasons student ministers do what they do for the Church and serve a crucial function in the Kingdom's advance in the world.  The big "three" are not totally original to me or any one person.  My awareness and dedication to them have primarily come through witnessing the interplay of the three in my youth ministry heroes lives and intense theological reflection (for fear of leaving someone out, there are too many heroes to attempt to mention.  Even so, my youth minister, Philip Nichols, modeled the three perfectly and still impacts my life today.  Mike Yaconelli and Chap Clark solidified the theological place of the three in my ministry).  So... senior pastor, minister, church leader, parent, student or church "curmudgeon,"  here are the three.

The purpose of Youth Ministry is to...

...assist families and adults in bringing students into the presence of Jesus Christ. This great commission task  (Which has a secondary focus as well--see below) should dwell in the core of all believers and certainly ministers.  The role of youth ministry is NOT to keep students busy, entertained, happy and out of the way of big church activity. Our role is to serve as missionaries that present the never-changing truth of the gospel in an ever-changing adolescent culture (that is why some of the methods or communication can seem a bit "off the wall" at times).  In many of today's youth ministry contexts, one of the most important jobs of the youth minister is to raise up an army of caring adults to share the gospel because there is not a stable family environment present in a student's life. 

...assist families and adults in educating students for life and eternity.
This is the second "teaching them to observe..." part of the great commission task.  You may have noticed, most youth minister's do not back down from talking or starting a conversation about  uncomfortable topics.  Why?  Because youth ministers, as cultural missionaries, know students are asking, will ask or about to ask difficult questions of faith and life application.  Sticky Faith research has shown that student's who express and explore doubt during their adolescent years have a better chance of "sticking" to the Christian faith after high school graduation (The Fuller Youth Institute has just released a great resource for working though difficult questions with students. Check out Can I Ask That?).  Youth ministry should be proactive and not reactive in educating students and assisting families/adults in educating students (btw: a proactive education program takes intentional theological and need assessment reflection).  It is my belief that it is a sin to bore students (or adults for that matter) when presenting and applying the Word of God.  So, youth ministers will look for creative ways to educate students and families/adults with the facts of and practical application of biblical truths (again, that is why teaching moments are often more than creative lecture and "off the wall").  I acknowledge that much more can, should and is constantly be discussed concerning the how and what of education and youth ministry. The point being made here is that youth minister's have a key roll of assisting in and educating student's for life and eternity.

...assimilate students into the overall community of faith.
For years, even in the most supportive youth ministry environments, the "official" task of youth ministry concluded with the graduation of the student from High School.  However, with churches moving to more of a holistic view of ministry, this third task of youth ministry has risen in importance. In other words, church leaders are beginning to acknowledge the ill effects that silo-ed youth ministry programming is having on our students and church communities. There are  "successful" youth ministries (number of participants being used as the marker) that fulfill the first two purposes of student ministry with excellence and effectiveness.  However, after graduating, what kind of connection do these students have with their overall church community? Some of these students have rarely been in a worship service with other adult believers or even heard a steady dose of preaching from their senior pastor!  My intention is not to throw rocks but shed light on the importance of this third purpose for youth ministry. It is my opinion that senior pastors, ministers and leaders have to constantly ask longitudinal and assimilating questions of their ministers and ministries.  Such questioning leads to systemic change in the silo-ed ministry programming mentality and replaces it with a holistic programming model in which all ministries work together in the spiritual formation of students (youth ministry "assists"is a word used in the discussion of the first two purposes of student ministry.  This word is intentional and highlights the responsibility shared by the entire community of faith).  While youth ministers, with humility, can suggest the process, Senior pastors, ministers and leaders, ministers  need to be the  originators of the longitudinal and assimilating questioning of ministries.  Why?  Without senior leadership level buy in, the third purpose of student ministry is very difficult if not impossible to accomplish. 
 
Certainly, youth minister's will continue to hear "you do 'that' for a job?" type of statements.
Even so, now you know the simple, high calling of Youth Ministers.

Sorry I have to run.

I have to go camping with a bunch of 8th graders (no, it is not vacation).

Is your WHY big enough?

If you attend a training or conference event, the mark of whether the time and money spent at the event, is the power of the take away (s).  A take away is a thought, concept, principle, resource, tool that has the power to reshape the way you do ministry.  I recently had a powerful take away moment.

Last Friday Jeff Gary, The Hills of Southlake Church student minister, many of the Hills Children's Ministry staff and I attended the Orange Conference one-day training event in Dallas.  It was a blast listening to Reggie Joiner and his team share the importance of Family and Church partnering  in the spiritual formation of our students (there was A LOT of Orange at this event). If you have not already done so, check out Orange at  http://www.whatisorange.org.


I attended a Executive and Senior Leadership class taught by Carey Nieuwhof.  I was really impressed with Carey and enjoyed our short conversation after the session (thanks John Turner for the introduction). Let me share Carey's bio from the Orange website:

Carey Nieuwhof is the lead pastor of Connexus Community Church, a multi-campus church north of Toronto and strategic partner of North Point Community Church. Before starting Connexus in 2007, Carey served for 12 years within a mainline denomination, transitioning three small rural congregations into a new congregation that experienced significant growth.  He speaks to church leaders across North America about change, leadership, parenting and the strategy behind Orange.  Carey co-authored Parenting Beyond Your Capacity with Reggie Joiner.  He and his wife, Toni, live near Barrie, Ontario, and have two teenage sons, Jordan and Sam.  In his spare time, you can find him cycling his heart out on a back road somewhere.
Blog: www.careynieuwhof.com
Twitter: twitter.com/cnieuwhof

Carey's class brought to light the difficulties senior leaders face when trying to implement change in the church system.  He made one of the most accurate and concise statements on the tipping point moment in which a church decides to go through the difficult process of change I have ever heard.  Here it is: Change will happen "when the pain of the status quo becomes greater than the pain of change."  Shortly after (here comes the take away moment) he addressed the fact that most church leaders spend their time on the "what" and "how" of ministry but need to spend more of their time on the "why."  The "why" of ministry is that which unifies and focuses a church--especially during times of change.  Great, thought provoking, practical content followed his comments. However, I stayed focused on the "why" comments.

Is our WHY big enough?  I could not get this question out of my head.  I believe most can agree with the following list of "why" statements.  WHY do we do what and how that we do in student ministry (I know, difficult play on words--it is on purpose):

• To lift up Christ
• To bring others to Christ
• To build each other up in Christ

Carey is right!  It is hard to be upset at any change when the "why" is clearly focused on Christ.  As a leader, that is one of our major roles, especially in times of change, to be sure the "why" remains on Christ. I am certain Paul had this in mind when he said of himself that he resolved to know nothing while [with the Corinthians] except Jesus Christ and him crucified (I Corinthians 2:2).  So, as a student minister, is your WHY big enough?

To be honest, as I look back through my 20 plus years in student ministry, their have been times when the Why for the how and what I did in student ministry was not very big. By the way, these times were often accompanied by disgruntled volunteers, parents, students...and church leaders. Can you identify with at least one of the underdeveloped why's in the list below? Why do we do what and how that we do in student ministry:

• To lift up my cool student ministry
• To bring more students to my student ministry
• To build up my reputation in student ministry

Let's face it, we have all struggled with these small why temptations in student ministry (if you haven't you will--Jesus faced them in the desert).  The solution?  Whatever it takes, stay focused on the bigger WHY.

Question:  As a student minister, what do you do to stay focused on the bigger WHY?